Why This Family Did a 2.5 Year Trial Run in India After 15 Years in Denmark
After 15 years in Denmark, this family did a 2.5 year trial run in India. The trigger? Their kids faced racism in Danish schools. An 8-year-old's comment on the flight—'we look alike here'—revealed how much the children felt like outsiders. Learn about their adjustment journey.
Why This Family Did a 2.5 Year Trial Run in India After 15 Years in Denmark
After 15 years in Denmark, this family's trial run in India was triggered by their children facing racism. An 8-year-old's comment on the flight revealed how much they felt like outsiders. Here's their 2.5 year journey.
Key Insights from This Story
- 15 years in Denmark—moved for husband's work
- Kids faced racism in Danish schools—bullying, hitting
- 8-year-old's comment: "We look alike here"—felt like outsiders
- Trial run 2.5 years—kids adjusted in 6-8 months
- Health challenges: Dengue, typhoid in first 6-9 months
- Key insight: Parents struggle more than kids to adjust
Background: Life in Denmark
The Journey to Denmark
- Origin: Born and brought up in Hyderabad
- Marriage: Arranged marriage to husband already in Denmark
- Move: February 2009 to Copenhagen
- Duration: 15 years in Denmark
Denmark: The Good
- Work-life balance: "Very good—you're not stressed out when working"
- Best for small kids: Can give children most of your time
- Leaves: Not forced to skip leaves
- Beautiful place: Scandinavian culture allows exploration
Why Consider Returning?
The Triggers
- Kids growing: Would lose connectivity to native country
- Age 10 deadline: "If they cross that age, I cannot convince them"
- Weather: Long, cold winters
- Language: Barrier in Danish-only environments
- Emptiness: "Feels little empty and lonely when you are alone"
The Racism That Changed Everything
⚠️ Danish School Experience
The family tried putting kids in Danish curriculum school:
- They were the only Indians in school
- Younger son faced bullying—"I don't want to go to school"
- Elder son was repeatedly hit by classmates
- He was one of the smartest kids—classmates were jealous
- He never told parents—only discovered when a girl reported it
- He had gotten used to it—was becoming introvert
The Flight Moment
On the Air India flight to India, the 8-year-old said:
The mother was shocked: "This is getting too much. He started to see the difference in how people treated them. It's a very young age for him to think about it so much."
The Trial Run Approach
The Planning
- Husband's situation: Office roots in India, travels frequently
- Wife's decision: "I have risk appetite—I will resign and try it out"
- Agreement: "You focus on work, I focus on family"
- Timing: Came for a wedding, admissions were happening—enrolled kids immediately
School Selection
- Chose ICSE curriculum (similar to GCSE in Denmark)
- Introduced kids to mentors
- Explained situation: "Please understand them if they get confused"
- Mentors were very supportive
Kids' Adjustment Challenges
Initial Culture Shocks
| Challenge | Details |
|---|---|
| Books | Didn't know difference between textbook and notebook |
| Margins | Teacher tore paper—didn't know what margins were |
| Corporal punishment | "Teachers hit here!"—shocked by physical discipline |
| Things missing | Items would go missing at school |
The Margin Incident
The mother told the teacher: "I'm on a trial run. If they get irritated, I have to pack my bags and go completely."
✅ After 6-8 Months
- Kids were fine and adjusted
- Got into comfort zone
- Elder son: "I know how to score marks—you don't have to yell at me"
- Made 10-15 friends in the community
- Ride bikes, visit grandmother, take care of elders
Health Challenges
⚠️ The Unexpected Challenge
- Both kids got 5 fevers in first months
- Included dengue and typhoid
- Bodies not familiar with 103-104°F fevers
- In Denmark: Only cold/cough, just take paracetamol
Doctor's Explanation
He gave medicines to strengthen their gut. After that, things improved.
Friend's Experience
Another friend who moved faced similar challenges:
- Was in hospital for 3 months
- Said: "I could not take it anymore without my husband"
- Went back to Denmark
The mother stayed because her intent was very strong.
The Key Insight: Parents vs Kids
The Realization
What Parents Struggle With
- Living with extended family: "We tolerate 100 people outside but cannot tolerate our own people at home"
- Independence: Used to nuclear family decisions
- Relatives: Unexpected visits, loss of freedom
- Comparison: "In Denmark it wasn't like this"—mind constantly compares
The Positive Side
Kids now take care of grandmothers, show compassion:
Future Plans
Current Thinking
- Healthcare and education: "Seems really challenging here"
- School fees: Paying high fees—questioning value for university
- Goal: Train kids to be comfortable in both nations
- Not influencing: "I like it here, my husband likes it there—let kids decide"
Advice for Others
- Be mentally prepared—until convinced, don't move
- Spouse must be on board—critical for peace of mind
- Don't compare—India and abroad are totally different
- Give it 2 years minimum—adjustment takes time
- Expect health challenges—first 6-9 months are tough
Considering a Trial Run in India?
Connect with families who've done trial runs and learn from their experiences.
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