Why This Family Did a 2.5 Year Trial Run in India After 15 Years in Denmark
After 15 years in Denmark, this family did a 2.5 year trial run in India. The trigger? Their kids faced racism in Danish schools. An 8-year-old's comment on the flight—'we look alike here'—revealed how much the children felt like outsiders. Learn about their adjustment journey.
AAvinash Peddi
September 4, 2025Sep 4, 202514 minShare:
Real Return Story • Last Updated: November 30, 2025
Why This Family Did a 2.5 Year Trial Run in India After 15 Years in Denmark
After 15 years in Denmark, this family's trial run in India was triggered by their children facing racism. An 8-year-old's comment on the flight revealed how much they felt like outsiders. Here's their 2.5 year journey.
Key Insights from This Story
- 15 years in Denmark—moved for husband's work
- Kids faced racism in Danish schools—bullying, hitting
- 8-year-old's comment: "We look alike here"—felt like outsiders
- Trial run 2.5 years—kids adjusted in 6-8 months
- Health challenges: Dengue, typhoid in first 6-9 months
- Key insight: Parents struggle more than kids to adjust
Background: Life in Denmark
The Journey to Denmark
- Origin: Born and brought up in Hyderabad
- Marriage: Arranged marriage to husband already in Denmark
- Move: February 2009 to Copenhagen
- Duration: 15 years in Denmark
Denmark: The Good
- Work-life balance: "Very good—you're not stressed out when working"
- Best for small kids: Can give children most of your time
- Leaves: Not forced to skip leaves
- Beautiful place: Scandinavian culture allows exploration
Why Consider Returning?
The Triggers
- Kids growing: Would lose connectivity to native country
- Age 10 deadline: "If they cross that age, I cannot convince them"
- Weather: Long, cold winters
- Language: Barrier in Danish-only environments
- Emptiness: "Feels little empty and lonely when you are alone"
"If this happens to them when they are 40 and they don't have any roots in India—that would be a kind of loneliness. That point used to trigger my mind all the time when I used to sit idle."
The Racism That Changed Everything
⚠️ Danish School Experience
The family tried putting kids in Danish curriculum school:
- They were the only Indians in school
- Younger son faced bullying—"I don't want to go to school"
- Elder son was repeatedly hit by classmates
- He was one of the smartest kids—classmates were jealous
- He never told parents—only discovered when a girl reported it
- He had gotten used to it—was becoming introvert
The Flight Moment
On the Air India flight to India, the 8-year-old said:
"Don't you think this flight is very comfortable? Because everybody looks alike. We look like them, they look like us. We don't look odd."
The mother was shocked: "This is getting too much. He started to see the difference in how people treated them. It's a very young age for him to think about it so much."
The Trial Run Approach
The Planning
- Husband's situation: Office roots in India, travels frequently
- Wife's decision: "I have risk appetite—I will resign and try it out"
- Agreement: "You focus on work, I focus on family"
- Timing: Came for a wedding, admissions were happening—enrolled kids immediately
School Selection
- Chose ICSE curriculum (similar to GCSE in Denmark)
- Introduced kids to mentors
- Explained situation: "Please understand them if they get confused"
- Mentors were very supportive
Kids' Adjustment Challenges
Initial Culture Shocks
| Challenge | Details |
|---|---|
| Books | Didn't know difference between textbook and notebook |
| Margins | Teacher tore paper—didn't know what margins were |
| Corporal punishment | "Teachers hit here!"—shocked by physical discipline |
| Things missing | Items would go missing at school |
The Margin Incident
"One teacher tore his paper, rolled it and threw it in the dust. He came home crying—'She insulted me, she humiliated me.' I called her and she said 'You have to draw margins—at 6th standard I never imagined kids wouldn't understand this.'"
The mother told the teacher: "I'm on a trial run. If they get irritated, I have to pack my bags and go completely."
✅ After 6-8 Months
- Kids were fine and adjusted
- Got into comfort zone
- Elder son: "I know how to score marks—you don't have to yell at me"
- Made 10-15 friends in the community
- Ride bikes, visit grandmother, take care of elders
Health Challenges
⚠️ The Unexpected Challenge
- Both kids got 5 fevers in first months
- Included dengue and typhoid
- Bodies not familiar with 103-104°F fevers
- In Denmark: Only cold/cough, just take paracetamol
Doctor's Explanation
"You're coming from one of the cleanest cities and finest places. For you to get adapted to this pollution, dust, and weather—it would take time. Your guts are very sensitive."
He gave medicines to strengthen their gut. After that, things improved.
Friend's Experience
Another friend who moved faced similar challenges:
- Was in hospital for 3 months
- Said: "I could not take it anymore without my husband"
- Went back to Denmark
The mother stayed because her intent was very strong.
The Key Insight: Parents vs Kids
The Realization
"We always are more concerned about how kids would adapt, but it's more than the kids—it's the parents. After coming back, I realized it was definitely not the kids, it is us."
What Parents Struggle With
- Living with extended family: "We tolerate 100 people outside but cannot tolerate our own people at home"
- Independence: Used to nuclear family decisions
- Relatives: Unexpected visits, loss of freedom
- Comparison: "In Denmark it wasn't like this"—mind constantly compares
The Positive Side
Kids now take care of grandmothers, show compassion:
"I never saw them doing that in Denmark because they never had a chance. But here I see they take care of elders so very well. I am so impressed and very happy for that."
Future Plans
Current Thinking
- Healthcare and education: "Seems really challenging here"
- School fees: Paying high fees—questioning value for university
- Goal: Train kids to be comfortable in both nations
- Not influencing: "I like it here, my husband likes it there—let kids decide"
Advice for Others
- Be mentally prepared—until convinced, don't move
- Spouse must be on board—critical for peace of mind
- Don't compare—India and abroad are totally different
- Give it 2 years minimum—adjustment takes time
- Expect health challenges—first 6-9 months are tough
Considering a Trial Run in India?
Connect with families who've done trial runs and learn from their experiences.
Frequently Asked Questions
A:
Based on this family's experience: '6-8 months for full adjustment.' Initial challenges included: 'Not knowing difference between textbook and notebook, teacher tore elder son's paper for not drawing margins (he didn't know what margins were), some teachers hit students (culture shock), things went missing at school.' After 8 months, 'they got into comfort zone and now know how to score marks.' The mother notes: 'Kids adapted faster than expected.'
A:
This family's approach: 'We did a 2.5 year trial run in India.' The mother explains: 'I wanted to move before kids turned 10 when I could still influence them. If kids crossed age 10, they couldn't be convinced to move.' The trial run helped them understand: health challenges (dengue, typhoid in first 6-9 months), school adjustment, and importantly—'it's more than the kids—it's the parents' who need to adjust.
A:
The family experienced: 'Both kids got sick frequently in first 6-9 months—5 fevers including dengue and typhoid.' A doctor explained: 'You're coming from one of the cleanest cities. Your guts are very sensitive.' He gave medicines to strengthen their gut. Warning: 'Another friend who moved had similar experience—was in hospital for 3 months and went back to Denmark.' Bodies need time to adapt to pollution, dust, and weather.
A:
This family's experience in Denmark: 'The elder son was repeatedly bullied and hit by classmates because he was one of the smartest kids and liked by teachers. He didn't tell parents for a long time—only discovered when a girl reported it to the teacher.' The younger son (8 years old) on the Air India flight said: 'Don't you think this flight is very comfortable? Because everybody looks alike. We look like them, they look like us. We don't look odd.' This showed how much they felt like outsiders.
A:
The mother's key realization: 'We always think about how kids would adapt, but it's more than the kids—it's the parents.' She found that 'kids adapted faster than expected.' The real challenge was 'parents adjusting to living with extended family, tolerating relatives.' She notes: 'We tolerate 100 people outside but cannot tolerate our own people at home.' Parents need to prepare mentally for family dynamics.
A:
The mother's advice: 'I wanted to move before kids turned 10 when I could still influence them. If kids crossed age 10, they couldn't be convinced to move.' She explains: 'Kids were growing and would lose connectivity to native country.' The family moved when kids were young enough to adapt but old enough to remember their roots. After 6-8 months, kids adjusted well to Indian schools.
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