From Lack of House Help to Health Goals: Why I Moved Back to India After 10 Years in US
Priti's journey from corporate IT in the US to yoga therapy and entrepreneurship in Udaipur, prioritizing health and family over luxury
Key Highlights from Priti's Journey
- β Spent 10 years in US working in IT (HP, Humana, State Cabinet project)
- β Severe health issues after children - cervical problems, muscle issues, PPD
- β Moved alone with 6-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter as trial run
- β Chose Udaipur (tier-2 city) over metros for family support system
- β Husband stayed in US for business, joined 2 years later (COVID delayed)
- β Transitioned from IT to certified yoga therapist and cafe owner
- β Switched son from CBSE to Cambridge board for better fit
- β Key insight: "It's all about priorities - give and take exists everywhere"
- β Now enjoys affordable helpers, drivers, and kids' extracurricular activities
- β Husband runs US-based software company remotely from Udaipur
When your hands go numb holding your newborn, you know something has to change. Priti's story isn't about chasing dreams in India - it's about survival, healing, and rediscovering quality of life. After 10 years in the US, severe health issues and postpartum depression forced her to make a choice: continue struggling alone or return to the support system she grew up with. She chose Udaipur - not Mumbai, not Bangalore - and five years later, she's healthier, happier, and running her own businesses.
From Joint Family to Alone in America
Priti was born and raised in Udaipur, Rajasthan, spending 24-25 years there before marriage. Her upbringing was the polar opposite of American nuclear family life:
"I was raised in a very big family where at a time we would have meals being cooked for at least 20-25 people on an average - which was daily practice. A huge social circle, a huge family."
After marriage, she flew to the United States to join her husband. The contrast was immediate and stark.
"Even the first shift to United States - there was always a lack of something. The initial years when you get married, it's always like a golden period, you're enjoying. But then we had a first kid..."
She worked in IT for about 10 years - at HP, then Humana, and finally on a state transportation cabinet project. But the workload of managing career, home, health, and children with no support system began taking its toll.
The Health Crisis That Changed Everything
After her first child, Priti developed severe cervical and muscle issues. The situation worsened dramatically after her second child:
"My daughter when she was just born - she was hardly a few kgs - and even with those two and a half, three kilos, if I would take her in my hand, within seconds my hand would be entirely numb. I would just lose the feeling."
The Spiral
Physical therapy and doctor visits in the US weren't providing relief. The cascade effect was devastating:
- Constant physical pain led to frustration and anger
- Mental health deteriorated
- Relationships became strained
- Postpartum depression (PPD) set in
- Quality of life plummeted
"When you're constantly in pain, in suffering, you tend to become a lot more frustrated, a lot more angry. Your own mental health starts gradually deteriorating. Even with family and relationships, everything starts getting hard - not because you want it to, but because of the circumstances."
The Core Problem
The fundamental issue was having to manage everything alone:
"In United States, we've got to manage everything on our own - be it work, be it your health, be it kids, be it your home, everything. The workload just kept increasing as your kids grow, while the health started deteriorating. It just started getting really tough to balance quality of life."
The Wedding That Sealed the Decision
The thought of returning had been brewing since the health issues began. Parents were aging - her father is a heart patient. She wanted to spend whatever time remained with them.
"It's a truth that whatever limited time you have, I wanted to make sure the leftover time I'm just going to spend with him, with my mom. It was always on the back of the mind."
The Tipping Point
The final push came unexpectedly:
"There was one time when my husband went back to India for a wedding. He came back and the load of fun they had - he was like, 'Okay, you know what, it's fine, let's just move back.' That was the final thing."
The Pros and Cons Debate
The decision wasn't easy after 10 years:
- India pros: Huge family support, helpers, maids, drivers, facilities
- US pros: Luxury, money, established life
- The fear: "Maybe I'm wrong" after spending a decade abroad
But when the day came to leave, there was clarity:
"Even when I was completely packed up, leaving United States after living there for 10 years - I knew it was the right decision. On my way to the airport, there was not even a shred of regret. When I looked back, I was like, 'I'm not going to miss anything here.' I was just looking forward to being in India."
The Trial Run: Moving Alone with Two Kids
They made a strategic decision: Priti would move first with the children while her husband stayed to manage his business (which was in its "baby years").
"We decided since my husband had his own business in its baby years, he would stay back while I moved back with both the kids. My son was about 6 years and my daughter was a year and a couple months old."
The Safety Net
This approach provided crucial flexibility:
"We took this decision keeping in mind - what if the kids do not settle? What if my child has a hard time? What if I'm not able to settle? We wanted to keep that window open where my husband was in United States and I would just try out how it works here."
The Unexpected Extension
The plan was for her husband to join in 5-6 months. Then COVID hit.
"He was supposed to come back here 5-6 months after I moved, but then COVID hit. He got stuck. It took him two years to move here. I was here with my kids for two years. It was a hard time, really hard. The kids were little. But we made through it."
π‘ Trial Run Strategy
Having one spouse move first while the other maintains the abroad base can be an effective way to test the waters. It allows assessment of schools, environment, and family adjustment while keeping options open. Just be prepared for unexpected delays.
Adjusting to Life with In-Laws
Priti moved in with her in-laws - a common but challenging arrangement for returning NRIs:
"It's not an easy decision when you've been 10 years in United States. You change your entire personality. It's hard for them to accommodate the new you, plus it's hard for you because you've seen a whole different life and you're trying to accommodate back here - there's a huge difference."
The Reality of Adjustment
- Takes time for everyone - you and the family
- Children also need adjustment period
- Learning to give and take is essential
- Challenges exist everywhere - it's about priorities
"Over time you learn how to accommodate, you learn how to adjust. You have to give and take. Life was hard there, it's going to have challenges here. But it's all about the priorities that you have."
Career Transformation: IT to Yoga to Cafe
Priti's career transition is a masterclass in reinvention.
Phase 1: Health First
"The first one or one and a half years, I really did not want to go back to work. I wanted to focus first on my health. I started yoga classes, started going for healing."
Phase 2: From Student to Practitioner
What started as personal healing became a new career:
"It caught up with me so much, I got so intrigued. I went ahead and applied for a certification program. I got trained and became a certified practitioner. Then I started taking classes on the side."
Phase 3: Entrepreneurship
Once the children were older (daughter turned 5), she expanded:
"I currently run a cafe of my own. It allows a lot more flexibility compared to your 9-to-6 corporate jobs. I've got a team who can handle, and I can pitch in whenever needed. It allows better quality time with the kids and time to focus on other things."
She also continues yoga therapy consultations, especially for mental health and anxiety issues.
Husband's Remote Business
Her husband's software company is US-based with an American partner. The work is outsourced to an Indian company in Udaipur, making remote management feasible:
"It's easier to coordinate with the offshore work here. He takes his meetings with US clients during nighttime. It's a little challenging because he has to work late, but then he gets free daytime. We're hoping to retire early and live a good life."
Children's School Journey: CBSE to Cambridge
The Initial Choice: CBSE
The first school decision was strategic:
"The decision to put them in CBSE was based on the fact that all the cousins were going there. He'd have at least some known faces, some circle. It'll probably be easier for him to get used to here because he comes from a completely American culture - it's a huge change."
The Observation and Switch
After observing her son's learning style, Priti made a change:
"He seemed to be more practical, work-oriented. He isn't a child who really likes a lot of theory and writing - which is typically your CBSE curriculum. I explored IB and Cambridge board schools here and felt Cambridge was more suitable to his needs."
Why Cambridge/IB Over CBSE
- More practical, less theory-heavy
- Bigger cities are transitioning toward IB/Cambridge
- Keeps options open for studying abroad at 18
- Easier transition to US/UK university curriculum
"By 18 they can choose whether they want to go to United States or stay here. Cambridge and IB give them that ability to transition into the curriculum over there."
The Practical Tip: Same School for Siblings
"When kids are in school, it's important not to have them in different schools. Different exam times, different PTM times - everything is on a different schedule. It's hard to keep up. Better to have the same school - same holiday pattern, same exam patterns. They go together."
Both children are now in the same Cambridge school, and her son is happy - "the final seal that I made the right decision."
Why Tier-2 Cities Can Be the Best Choice
Many people questioned Priti's choice of Udaipur over metros like Mumbai, Pune, or Hyderabad. Her response is practical:
"A lot of people told me, 'Why are you moving to Udaipur? It's a very small city. You're in United States - you should move to a metro at least.' But this city, with the family, with the support system I have - it always had my heart. If I'm in a different city, it's again the same whole story - I'm on my own again."
The Trade-offs
Priti is clear-eyed about what she gave up and what she gained:
What's Different from the US:
- Less cleanliness and systematic infrastructure
- No instant 911 response - traffic delays happen
- Still developing vs. developed country amenities
- Son initially asked "Why are there cows on the roads?"
What She Gained:
- Mental breaks - kids can go to grandparents' houses
- Quality time with parents and family
- Affordable helpers, drivers, household support
- Personal trainers for kids' activities at fraction of US cost
- Multiple extracurricular activities without financial strain
"My son goes for chess, football. If I had to do the same thing in United States, it would cost me a lot more compared to the personal training I can provide here. I can enroll them in two or three different activities. Plus I can afford a driver who can send them everywhere without too much burden on me or my husband."
Udaipur's Growth
"Udaipur is really growing. It has become a celebrity destination, a wedding destination. The economy seems to be growing. The improvements are coming in. Since our economy is in a development phase, there's a lot more learning compared to when you just go into a developed product."
π― The Priority Framework
"It's all about your priority. Depending on what your priority is, you're going to have to give and take a few things - whether it's United States or Udaipur. Even in United States, my quality of life was terribly compromised. I was more inclined towards giving up on a little bit of luxury or amenities - which is fine by me."
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Frequently Asked Questions
Should NRIs move to tier-2 cities in India instead of metros?
Tier-2 cities can be excellent choices if you have family support there. Benefits include: lower cost of living, existing support system, less competition for schools, growing infrastructure, and often better quality of life. The key is having your 'people' around you - otherwise you're 'on your own again' like in the US. Cities like Udaipur are growing rapidly and becoming wedding/celebrity destinations with improving amenities.
How can NRIs with health issues benefit from moving to India?
India offers affordable access to helpers, drivers, and support staff that can significantly reduce physical strain. One NRI with severe cervical and muscle issues found relief by having household help and drivers. Additionally, alternative therapies like yoga and Ayurveda are more accessible and affordable. The reduced stress of not 'managing everything on your own' can improve both physical and mental health.
Is it advisable for one spouse to move to India first while the other stays abroad?
This approach can work well as a trial run. It allows you to assess if the environment works for your family, especially children, while keeping options open. One family had the wife move with kids while the husband stayed to manage his business. Though COVID extended their separation to 2 years, it ultimately confirmed India was the right choice. The key is having clear communication and a defined timeline.
How do NRI children adjust to Indian schools after living in the US?
Children are resilient, especially when moved at younger ages. Initial adjustment may be hard, but they adapt. One family started with CBSE (for cousin connections) then switched to Cambridge board when they noticed the child was more practical/hands-on than theory-oriented. Cambridge/IB boards also keep options open for returning abroad for higher education. Having cousins in the same school initially helps with the social transition.
What career options do NRI women have after returning to India?
Many NRI women successfully transition to entrepreneurship. One IT professional took a 1.5-year break for health, got certified in yoga therapy, started consulting for mental health/anxiety issues, and opened her own cafe. The flexibility of entrepreneurship allows better work-life balance than corporate 9-to-6 jobs. India's growing startup ecosystem offers many opportunities, especially for those with international experience.
How much cheaper are extracurricular activities for kids in India vs US?
Significantly cheaper. One NRI noted that personal training for chess, football, and multiple activities for two children in India costs a fraction of what one activity would cost in the US. You can afford personal trainers, multiple activities, and drivers to transport kids - luxuries that would be prohibitively expensive abroad. This allows children to explore more interests without financial strain.
What triggers NRIs to finally decide to move back to India?
Common triggers include: health issues making it hard to 'manage everything on your own,' aging parents, desire for family support system, quality of life concerns, and sometimes a single event like a spouse's trip to India for a wedding where they experience the joy of family connections. The decision often crystallizes when the cons of staying abroad start outweighing the pros of financial comfort.
How should NRIs prepare for moving back to India?
Key preparation steps: 1) Use family support to prep things in India (school admissions, housing) while you're still abroad, 2) Send luggage with visiting parents gradually, 3) Decide on city based on support system not just job opportunities, 4) Keep backup options initially (one spouse staying abroad), 5) Accept that adjustment takes time for everyone - it's always 'give and take' wherever you live.
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