What happens when you take a one-year sabbatical to trial life in India after 13 years in the UK? Minal's story is a masterclass in pragmatic planning and emotional honesty. After a successful career in Glasgow, COVID lockdowns, family losses, and mental health struggles, she made the bold decision to take a year off and move to India with her 12-year-old daughter. Her journey reveals the hidden challenges of returning with a middle schooler - from school selection to cultural expectations to navigating gender roles - and why sometimes the best move is to test before committing.

Life in UK: Career, Community, and Fulfillment

Minal's UK journey was remarkable - both professionally and personally.

"Life in UK was fantastic. I was in Glasgow, Scotland - one of the friendliest cities in the world. Very cool, laid-back people, very friendly. They welcomed us with open arms. I literally found my wings - not just career-wise but also socially. I joined a startup, moved on in my career, and realized there's so much more I can do."

Community Leadership

"I joined a group called Glasgow Indians and became a very active member - one of the first female volunteers. We organized Ganpati, Garba, all these events. We even welcomed Prime Minister Narendra Modi when he came for COP 26. I won a lot of awards, even nationwide recognition. It was a wonderful time."

Helping Other Women

"I started helping women find careers - women like me who were moving as their husband's dependents, well-educated women not able to find work. I gave them a little push, helped with CVs, interview preparation. It was very fulfilling work."

COVID Trigger: Mental Health and Family Loss

Everything changed when the world locked down.

"Everything was going great till COVID happened. After such an active life going at 100 miles per hour, COVID happened and we were confined to a small flat in the city center. No access to meeting anybody. My family was going through a very tough time during lockdowns. I lost a few family members, which was very hard for me. Even my husband lost his uncle recently."

The Mental Health Crisis

"I couldn't do anything - I was just locked up over there. It was very difficult time for me and my family. I started going into depressive episodes. When you're mentally not in a proper place, physically also a lot of things start popping up. That's what was happening."

The Realization

"We always had this slight dream of coming back, but after COVID it just became a very strong urge and ultimately a necessity. I have to be back. I have to be in between my people, my family. I looked at my kids and thought - will they ever enjoy the childhood I enjoyed? Will they have that bonding with their cousins and grandparents like I had?"

The Decision: One-Year Sabbatical Trial

Rather than making a permanent move, Minal chose a pragmatic approach.

"When we started putting things to paper - everything, all the timelines, even the financials - we realized one thing: it will be career suicide if we just left everything and moved here. We are both now in a career position where it will be a career suicide. So we wanted to have a net where if it doesn't work out, we can go back."

The Sabbatical Solution

"I talked at my work and they were quite happy to grant me a sabbatical for one year. Initially they were like 'go for a few weeks' - I said no, it won't work because of kids' education. Three months here, four months there - it just doesn't align. Let's take one full year, go over there, see how it goes. My job is still secured over there."

The Timing

"We planned it at a time when the school gets over in UK and they start in India. It didn't really exactly match - we had to miss out both the sides - but that's when we planned."

Preparing Kids for the Move

Minal took a long-term approach to preparing her children.

"We always told them that at one point we will have to move. But they knew this is the life - 12-13 years here, this is how it will go on. We started slowly preparing them that this is what is going to happen, this is what you can look forward to. These are the challenges you might face."

Honest Conversations About Differences

"We told them: 'The freedom that we give you here, we might not be able to give you over there because these are two different cultures, two different ways of handling things, and different safeties.' We prepared them for the reality - not sugar-coating it."

Annual India Visits

"We brought kids every year to India for a few weeks. This gave them a taste of Indian culture, our lifestyle. We always had that feeling at the back of our mind that yes, we have to be back at some point."

School Selection: CBSE and Small Class Sizes

School choice was critical for a 12-year-old transitioning from UK education.

"We spent a lot of time deciding on the school. Initially we didn't want to go for IB because IB is very similar to what they were studying in UK. If we had to have it as a cultural exchange, we had to have something apart from IB. We looked at ICSE and CBSE."

The Small Class Size Factor

"Small class size was one major factor in making her comfortable. Large class sizes where everyone already has their groups and the teacher won't even know your name individually - that would be too isolating. We needed a school where the staff is open, the head teacher responds to our requests, understands our situation."

The School Choice

They chose a school with small class sizes, supportive staff, and a holistic approach to education.

Sports First: Badminton Before Academics

Their strategy prioritized emotional well-being over academics.

"My husband, who is a very good sportsman, had an idea: first things first, before she starts school, we have to have one sports activity for her. We asked her which sports she wants to join - she said badminton. We started badminton for her over here, which is daily."

The Psychological Benefit

"When you play a sport, whatever is your life's frustration, you just hit it and hit it and hit it. That helped bring in sort of a routine as well as bring in that sort of an active body mindset. That helped in a way. Mentally we had to be with her - I took a break for various reasons but also I did not join anything over here. I only wanted to support her when she comes from school."

Real Challenges: Marks, Friends, and Pressure

Despite preparation, real challenges emerged.

The Appreciation Gap

"Teachers over here they're not appreciative at all. In UK you do a little bit good thing and they're like 'oh it's amazing, great job.' Here even if you do your best they'll be like 'yeah okay.' So they're not appreciative here."

The Peer Pressure

"The friends - 'Mama, they're all in coaching, they all joined Aakash. How will I be able to cope with them?' I had to repeatedly tell her: 'You're not competing with them. They have a different path in life, you have a different path. You have to choose your own path - it might not be same as your friends.'"

The Marks Disappointment

"First tests happened and she didn't score as well as she hoped. There were a lot of tears. I told her: 'You're already seven years behind them and still you're able to do this much - that's great. It's a very big responsibility on parents to tell them it's okay. We don't want you to be part of the rat race.'"

The Deliberate Non-Focus on Academics

"We were very strict on one thing - we would not start the topic of studies. Yes, school, yes friends, yes teachers, but studies - oh, what topic is happening? - we never brought this up. We never asked her how much marks she was getting. We never brought this topic up. We never asked her how much she's expecting."

When she mentioned difficulty in a subject, they offered help. But they never initiated the conversation.

Gender Expectations in India

One of the most challenging aspects was navigating gender-based expectations.

"I'm a feminist woman and I've been working all my life. Now that I'm not working and I'm in India, there is this sort of expectation that you know, for example if there is a function in my home, I love to host big parties. Everyone is here. I'm the one - even if there are some guys also who are on holiday - because I'm a woman there are certain expectations from me."

The Double Standard

"Had I been working it would have been different, and had I been a boy even if I'm not working it would have been completely different. So how much your views are respected by certain people - that is a very big difference here. This change in attitude when you're a woman versus you're a man, and when you're working versus when you're not working - I've not faced this in UK even with very close people, but I've faced it very strongly here."

Preparing Her Daughter

"I'm preparing my older daughter for certain things. She's already faced this - 'Mama, guys here they don't have any boundaries. They just come and ask for your number without even saying hello.' So it's a bit challenging for her. I'm helping her navigate from my experiences growing up."

Life in Indore: Sukun and Surprises

Despite challenges, Minal found unexpected peace.

"In one word if I have to sum it up - sukun (peace). Whatever reasons we moved here for, they're all more or less happening. There is so much that I can fit in - partly because I'm not working, partly because it being India and being a small city, Indore, and being with my in-laws' support."

The Good Surprises

"10 minutes delivery! I don't think I can ever live without that now. Anything is over in the kitchen, I just blink and BigBasket - 10 minutes. That's one of the best things. Then the house helps - someone who can clean everything, someone who arranges everything and cooks for you. It's an amazing feeling. I think I'm going to keep aside some budget even if I go back to UK just to have a personal cook."

The Challenges

"Personal boundaries are a big problem. Nobody respects time here - 11:00 means 11:40, 12:15, 12:30. People are very unplanned. We've become the type of people who call first and say 'are you there?' before visiting - that's not the culture here. The expectations of everyone since you're here and not working - that's one thing. Security and traffic - that's a bit of a problem."

The Grandparent Connection

"The attention that the kids are getting from their grandparents - my older one is an introvert, she talks very less. But her dad, her granddad, would keep asking her questions. Sometimes she gets irritated but she has to answer. It's bringing her out from her shell. My younger one loves that she can go down and play whenever it's weekend."

Why Indore: Privacy, Safety, and Family

The choice of Indore over a metro was strategic.

"We moved to a different house - although we living in the same city where our in-laws lived, we moved to a different house. We knew that the kids would not feel comfortable in a traditional colony where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows what you're doing. Privacy is a big thing for them, especially at this age."

The Apartment Choice

"We moved to Indore - a cleaner city. We chose a place where it's more flat structure - apartments, kids' playground downstairs, a bit more security and safety. So the kids could make friends and have privacy. We talked to our in-laws beforehand - 'this is what we're planning but we really want you to be with us.' They agreed."