Moving Back to India with a Middle Schooler After 10 Years in US
Diva worked as a math teacher in US high schools and middle schools for 10 years. She shares her family's decision to return to India with a 12-year-old daughter, why they chose CBSE curriculum, and how quickly kids adapt when given the chance.
Moving Back to India with a Middle Schooler After 10 Years in US
Diva worked as a math teacher in US high schools and middle schools for 10 years. She shares her family's decision to return to India with a 12-year-old daughter, why they chose CBSE curriculum for STEM focus, and the reality of kids' adjustment.
Key Highlights from Diva's Journey
- Math teacher in US for 10 years - taught high school and middle school
- Moved to California South Bay in 2013 when daughter was 2 years old
- Decision made in 2 months - sold house, cars, resigned jobs
- Daughter was 12 (going into 7th grade), son was 5 at time of move
- Chose CBSE curriculum for strong STEM education
- Daughter adjusted in 6 months, son adjusted immediately
- Both parents found good jobs - Diva at Cisco (remote), husband hybrid
- Key insight: Kids are very adaptive - the struggle narrative is overhyped
Prioritize Your Happiness: "You only get one life. Don't rush after things not on your wish list just because it's seen highly that someone went to US and is earning good money. See what you want to achieve and what makes you happy. Prioritize your happiness - leave the kids on their fate. We are providing them whatever we can."
📚 Background: Math Teacher in US
Diva was a math teacher in India from 2007 to 2013, working online for an edtech company teaching US students. In 2013, her husband got an opportunity to move to California South Bay, and she moved with their 2-year-old daughter.
Career in US
- Preparation: Did research before moving to ensure credentials were valid in US
- Credential: Got credential to teach up to 12th grade math including calculus
- Demand: Huge demand for math and science teachers - got job quickly
- First school: High school in South Bay (ranked 8 at the time)
- Second school: Middle school in East Bay (ranked 13 out of ~2500 in California)
Their initial plan was to stay 3 years, travel, save money, and pay off their India flat loan. The loan was paid off in 1 year, but they ended up staying 10 years.
😤 Frustrations That Led to the Decision
Immigration Frustrations
The Breaking Point
During COVID, Diva's grandmother passed away. She tried everything to come to India to be with her father during the rituals. But there were no appointments for visa stamping - if she came, she would be stuck in India leaving her husband and two young kids in the US. Even appointments in nearby countries like Singapore weren't available.
Concerns About US School Environment
As a teacher inside the US school system, Diva witnessed things that concerned her:
What She Witnessed
- Daycare in high school: Not for teachers' kids - for students' babies so they could complete their diploma
- Teenage pregnancy: A 13-14 year old student was 8 months pregnant with her second child by end of school year
- Marijuana: Legal and common - could smell it on students entering classroom and in bathrooms
- Racism: Against Asian students and teachers - she went to therapy for depression
- Student deaths: Two deaths during her tenure - one LGBTQ-related, one drug-related
- Contraceptives: San Francisco Unified made contraceptives available in nurse's room for middle schoolers
The Dinner Conversation
In January 2023, after Diva's in-laws left, they were sitting with friends from Hyderabad who were missing home despite working at Google and having everything financially.
⚡ The Quick Decision: 2 Months to Move
The decision was remarkably fast:
Timeline
- January 2023: In-laws left, started discussions
- February 2023: Gave serious thought, checked Social Security benefits (40 credits already done)
- March 2023: Decision made - started wrapping up
- Within 2 months: Sold house, sold cars, both resigned from jobs
- May 2023: Moved to India (before new school year started in June)
They had already been preparing their daughter with Hindi classes for 2 years, just in case they decided to move.
💼 Career Transition: Teaching to Instructional Design
Diva's Transition
Diva transitioned from teaching to instructional design - a common path for teachers, especially with a Masters degree.
Career Path
- Before leaving US: Got contract job as instructional designer, asked if she could work from India - they agreed
- After moving: Took 6-month break to settle family
- Current: Full-time remote job at Cisco as instructional designer
- Work-life balance: Excellent - can focus on home, kids, and work
Husband's Transition
Her husband took a 3-month break, then started getting job offers without even applying:
🏫 School Selection: Why CBSE?
Diva researched all curriculums: IB, IGCSE, ICSE, and CBSE. She chose CBSE.
Why CBSE?
- STEM focus: CBSE has amazing math and science curriculum
- Brain development: Good STEM education exercises more mental muscles
- Not limiting: CBSE doesn't prevent international undergrad - friends' kids went to US/Europe
- Progressive school: Chose one with play-based learning, no high pressure in primary grades
- Location: Within 2km of home - deal breaker criteria
- Reasonable fees: Not the 8-10 lakh international schools
On IB Schools
"If you go for IB, you'll get more returnee kids for friend circle - my daughter has 3 IB friends in her bus who came back from US in last 2 years. But our focus was STEM education."
Language Adjustment
For Hindi and Kannada, her daughter started from first grade level even though she was in 7th grade - this is a government norm. The question papers had multiple-choice questions to help students manage. In 9th grade, Kannada is not mandatory.
👧 Kids' Adjustment: The Reality
Daughter (12 years old)
Adjustment Timeline
- Initial reaction: Cried for a couple of days - mainly about losing friend circle
- First few months: Missed best friend from US, missed school and teachers
- 6 months: Made friends at school (she was introverted, took time)
- Now: Fully settled, enjoys school, says "what's special in US that's not here?"
Son (5 years old)
Adjusted immediately with no issues. Has a whole gang of friends in their villa community - can go out anytime and play.
Key Insight
"The 'NRI kids struggle' question is overhyped. Nothing is difficult for these kids - they are very adaptive. You'll be surprised how quickly they adapt. The curriculum is not hard - it's the social structure that takes time. My daughter said the curriculum is not challenging at all."
🇮🇳 Life in India: Travel and Family
Since moving, they've traveled extensively:
- Dubai (twice)
- Phuket
- Mauritius
- Maldives
- Many more planned
They also have house help now - for 10 years in US, even CEOs wash dishes and clean houses. Now they have help for sweeping and mopping (they still do dishes and laundry themselves - skills they don't want to lose).
💡 Advice for Parents
Key Recommendations
- Prioritize your happiness: Don't project your insecurities on kids
- Kids adapt fast: Don't overthink their adjustment
- Do your research: On housing, schools, and area before buying
- Give more notice: They gave 2 months - would have been better to give 1 year for kids to say proper goodbyes
- Nothing ends: If it doesn't work, you can always go back
Final Thought
"If you want to move with something that makes you happy, if you feel this is the age of your parents and you need to be there - you should be there instead of regretting for the rest of your life. What is stopping you? Nothing."
Planning Your Family's Return?
Diva's story shows that with the right mindset and preparation, moving back with school-age children is very achievable. Kids adapt faster than we think.
Frequently Asked Questions
Loading comments...