How Did the Journey to the US Begin?

"India in the late 80s was very different. When I went to the US, there were highways, ATMs — things that didn't exist in India. I was fascinated."

Ranjani grew up in Mumbai (then Bombay) as a big city girl who left India in the late 1980s to pursue higher education in the United States. She completed her PhD and built a successful career as a pharmaceutical scientist, spending her 20s to mid-30s across the East Coast (Washington DC area) and California.

During her 14 years in the US, she achieved major life milestones: got married, had a child, and acquired a Green Card. The US offered her professional growth and exposure to infrastructure that didn't exist in India at the time—highways, ATMs, and advanced research facilities.

  • Background: Grew up in Bombay (Mumbai), big city girl
  • Left India: Late 1980s, close to 1990
  • Education: PhD in the US — loved the education system
  • Career: Pharmaceutical scientist
  • Locations: Washington DC area (East Coast), then California
  • Life Milestones: Got married, had a child, acquired Green Card
  • Duration: Spent 20s to mid-30s in the US

Why Did She Decide to Return to India?

In 2003, Ranjani made the life-changing decision to move back to India—not to her hometown of Mumbai, but to Hyderabad, where her husband's family was based. This was a family decision driven by multiple factors that many NRIs can relate to.

Primary Reasons for Returning to India:

  • ✓ Spend quality time with aging parents before it was too late
  • ✓ Give daughter exposure to grandparents and Indian family culture
  • ✓ Raise daughter with Indian values and cultural upbringing
  • ✓ Build closeness with extended family—cousins, uncles, aunts

India Had Transformed Since the 1980s:

When Ranjani returned in 2003, she found a dramatically different India than the one she had left. The infrastructure gap had narrowed significantly:

  • Modern infrastructure: ATMs and flyovers now existed across major cities
  • Hyderabad's tech boom: The city was experiencing rapid growth with a booming technology and pharmaceutical industry
  • Professional opportunities: It was an excellent time to return professionally, especially in pharma
  • World-class workplaces: Her pharma company in Hyderabad had all modern facilities—conference rooms, laptops, infrastructure that looked like US workplaces

The robust pharmaceutical industry in Hyderabad made the career transition smooth. She secured a position with a reputable pharma company that offered the professional environment she was accustomed to in the United States.

What Happens When Life Doesn't Go as Planned?

"My marriage didn't survive the move. Two years after moving to India, I separated and had to figure out life on my own."

Two years after returning to India, Ranjani faced an unexpected and life-altering challenge: her marriage ended. The increased interaction with in-laws and extended family after the move, combined with other factors, led to separation. She suddenly found herself navigating life as a single parent in a country where divorce still carried significant social stigma.

⚠️ The Crossroads: Stay or Return to the US?

With a valid Green Card in hand, Ranjani had the option to return to the United States. Many people advised her to go back—it seemed like the logical choice. But something didn't feel right about that decision. She chose to stay in Hyderabad and build a new life from scratch.

The Critical Decision:

  • Had Green Card: Could legally return to US and resume her previous life
  • External pressure: Some people said returning to US was what she should do
  • Gut feeling: Despite the logical arguments, it didn't feel right to leave
  • Chose resilience: Decided to stay in Hyderabad and build a new independent life

This decision required immense courage. She would have to navigate single parenthood in India without the support systems available in the US, face social stigma, and rebuild her professional and personal life from the ground up.

"Both transitions — India to US and back — were life-changing. They fundamentally changed me as a person."

What Are the Real Challenges of Single Parenting in India?

Being a single parent in India comes with unique challenges that many Western countries have addressed through infrastructure and social acceptance. Ranjani faced these obstacles head-on and found ways to build an independent life despite the systemic barriers.

🚧 Single Parent Struggles in India (2003-2013)

  • No organized daycare system: Unlike the US, India lacks widespread professional daycare facilities. Most people rely on family support (grandparents, relatives) or full-time domestic help, which isn't always reliable or affordable
  • Renting apartment challenges: Landlords typically expect traditional families (married couples with children). Single parents, especially single mothers, face discrimination and suspicion when trying to rent apartments
  • Deep-rooted gender bias: Men are expected to lead conversations in business transactions. When Ranjani bought a car, the dealer asked "Who will drive it?" assuming a man would be the primary driver. Her response "I will" left him visibly surprised
  • Social stigma of divorce: There's significant stigma associated with divorce in India, particularly for women. Single mothers often face judgment, gossip, and exclusion from social circles
  • Lack of single-parent support networks: No organized support groups, counseling services, or community resources specifically for single parents

Breaking Barriers: What She Built Independently:

  • ✓ Bought her own apartment: Her name on the ownership board—a symbol of independence and financial stability
  • ✓ Bought her own car: Challenged gender stereotypes by purchasing and driving her own vehicle
  • ✓ Transitioned to independent consulting: Moved from corporate pharma job to freelance consulting for work-from-home flexibility
  • ✓ Managed daughter's school schedule: Balanced work commitments with being present for school pickups, homework, and activities
  • ✓ Built financial independence: Created stable income without relying on family or ex-spouse

For more insights on financial planning when returning to India, including managing assets and income as a single parent, explore our comprehensive guide.

How Did She Balance Career and Single Parenting?

Initially, Ranjani thought she might take a break from work to focus on her daughter. But she quickly realized she wasn't cut out for that—she had always been working and found professional fulfillment essential to her identity and well-being.

Career Evolution in India:

  • Corporate pharma role: Secured position with a reputable pharmaceutical company in Hyderabad upon return
  • Professional foundation: Work provided financial stability, intellectual satisfaction, and social connections
  • Transition to consulting: Later moved to independent consulting in the pharmaceutical industry
  • Work-from-home flexibility: Consulting allowed her to be home when her daughter returned from school—critical for single parents without family support
  • Client management: Built a portfolio of pharma clients while maintaining schedule flexibility

The pharmaceutical industry in Hyderabad was robust and growing, which made it possible to transition from corporate employment to independent consulting without sacrificing income or professional credibility. This flexibility proved essential for managing single parenting responsibilities.

If you're considering a career transition when returning to India, learn about industry opportunities, salary expectations, and work-from-home options in our detailed guide.

How Did Her Daughter Adapt to Indian Education?

One of the biggest concerns for returning NRIs is their children's education. Ranjani's daughter's journey offers valuable insights into how returnee kids can thrive in the Indian education system.

Complete Education Timeline:

  • Kindergarten in US: Started early education in American school system
  • 1st grade in India: Transitioned to CBSE board school in Hyderabad at age 6
  • Grades 1-12 in India: Completed entire K-12 education in Indian system (12 years total)
  • Returnee community: Many classmates were also children of NRIs who had returned from the US
  • Undergraduate in US: Returned to United States for college after completing 12th grade
  • Current status: Completed Master's degree and now working professionally in the US
"Don't worry so much about curriculum. Support your kid through their journey. The younger they are, the easier it is to settle into Indian schooling."

Key Insight on Identity and Adjustment:

Ranjani observed that kids who grew up in India (completing grades 1-12) and then went to the US for college become well-adjusted young adults with a strong sense of identity. They see themselves primarily as Indians regardless of where they live now. This is different from kids who grow up entirely in the US—the formative years in India create a deep cultural foundation.

Practical Advice for Parents:

  • Age matters: The younger your child when you return, the easier the transition to Indian schooling
  • Don't obsess over curriculum: CBSE, ICSE, IB—all produce successful students. Focus on supporting your child emotionally
  • Returnee communities exist: Many schools in metro cities have significant populations of returnee children
  • Long-term benefits: Growing up in India provides cultural grounding that lasts a lifetime

For detailed information on navigating the Indian education system for NRI children, including school selection, curriculum comparison, and admission processes, check out our comprehensive guide.

How Can You Test Drive Your Return to India?

"Come and try it out. Stay not as a tourist but as a resident. Now you can rent Airbnbs in different places to get a feel before you decide."

One of Ranjani's most valuable pieces of advice is to test-drive your return before making a permanent commitment. This approach allows you to experience daily life in India as a resident, not as a tourist, which gives you a realistic picture of what your life would actually be like.

🎯 Complete Test Drive Strategy

  • Rent for extended periods (3-6 months): Live as a resident, not a tourist. Set up routines, cook meals, do grocery shopping, experience daily life
  • Try multiple cities before deciding: Ranjani mentions friends from Singapore who are renting in different Indian cities (Bangalore, Hyderabad, Pune) to find the best fit for their family
  • Use summer vacations strategically: If your kids are still in school abroad, come during summer break to test living in India for 2-3 months
  • Test proximity to family: If you need family support, experiment with living nearby versus in the same house to understand what works best
  • Experience real day-to-day life: Commute during rush hour, navigate traffic, use public services, visit hospitals, shop at local markets
  • Enroll kids in summer camps: Let children experience Indian schools, activities, and peer groups during trial period

Understanding Family Dynamics During Transition:

  • Different commitment levels: One spouse may feel strongly about returning while the other is hesitant—acknowledge this difference
  • Varying expectations: Each family member will have different expectations about what life in India will be like
  • Patience varies: Some family members will adapt quickly, others will need more time—don't rush the process
  • Kids mirror adult stress: Children take emotional cues from parents. If you're stressed and negative, they'll be stressed too
  • Include everyone's input: Make the decision together by including each family member's feelings and reactions

For a comprehensive guide on how to test-drive your return to India, including city comparisons, rental strategies, and family adjustment tips, check out our detailed resource.

What Books Has She Written About Her Journey?

Ranjani (writing as Ranjini Rao) has documented her experiences in two powerful books that have helped countless people navigating similar life transitions. Her writing is honest, practical, and deeply personal.

📘 Book 1: No Longer NRI

  • Format: eBook available on Amazon
  • Content: Collection of monthly columns written during her first year back in India
  • Topics covered: Work life, home life, pros and cons of returning, travel experiences, day-to-day adjustments
  • Author name: Ranjini Rao
  • What makes it unique: Written in real-time as events unfolded—not retrospective analysis but actual lived experience
  • Who should read it: Anyone considering returning to India who wants an honest, unfiltered account of the first year

📗 Book 2: Rewriting My Happily Ever After

  • Format: Available in both print and eBook on Amazon
  • Genre: Memoir of Divorce and Discovery
  • Primary focus: Single parenting in India, rebuilding life after divorce, overcoming stigma
  • Impact: Has helped many people dealing with divorce stigma in India find courage and practical strategies
  • Companion podcast: Hosts a podcast with the same name where other women share their stories of divorce and reinvention
  • Who should read it: Single parents, divorced individuals, anyone rebuilding life after major setback

Connect with Ranjini: Visit her website at ranjinirao.com to learn more about her books, podcast, and writing.

What Led to Her Move to Singapore?

"When I bought my apartment in Hyderabad, I was so happy. But few years later, I had to move to Singapore. Life is unpredictable."

After building a stable, independent life in Hyderabad—buying her own apartment, establishing her consulting career, raising her daughter—Ranjani faced another major transition. She moved to Singapore, proving once again her resilience and adaptability.

Singapore Experience and Adaptation:

  • Age factor: Moving in her 40s was very different from moving to the US in her 20s—different life stage, different priorities
  • Completely different environment: Singapore is a tiny city-state, vastly different from both the US and India
  • Multicultural but compact: While diverse, Singapore is geographically very small compared to the US or India
  • Excellent infrastructure: World-class public transport system meant no need to drive—a significant lifestyle change
  • New family dynamics: Had to settle into new routines with a new family situation
  • Career restart: Found new job opportunities in Singapore's robust pharmaceutical industry
  • Cultural absorption: Learned and adapted to Singaporean practices, work culture, and social norms

Her Perspective on Global Mobility:

"India is in a good place—it's a two-way street. You can leave and come back and leave again. Many people move for jobs, get posted abroad, come back. This will become more common." This reflects the growing trend of global Indians who move fluidly between countries based on career opportunities, family needs, and life circumstances.

What Is Her Advice for Making Life-Changing Decisions?

"Most people regret what they did NOT do. If you have it in your mind to try something, go with it. At least that question is answered."

After navigating multiple major life transitions—moving to the US, returning to India, divorce, single parenting, and moving to Singapore—Ranjani has developed profound wisdom about decision-making and life choices.

💡 Life Wisdom from Multiple Transitions

  • Regret for inaction is worse: Research and her personal experience show that people regret things they didn't try more than things they did—even if those attempts didn't work out perfectly
  • Make active decisions: Don't let life lead by itself or drift into choices by default. Decide actively and intentionally
  • Reversible decisions don't need overthinking: If a decision is reversible (like test-driving a return to India), don't overthink it—trust your gut and try it
  • Embrace new cultures fully: Don't create a mini-India abroad or a mini-America in India. Immerse yourself in the local culture wherever you are
  • Value diverse connections: The blessing of living in different countries is meeting interesting people from all cultures and backgrounds
  • Focus on what works: Many things work well in India—be patient, keep an open mind, and actively look for the positives
  • Build meaningful relationships: You'll meet inspiring people in India at all levels of society—from domestic help to corporate executives
  • Celebrate cultural authenticity: In India, you get holidays on YOUR festivals. Diwali isn't moved to the weekend—it's celebrated when it actually occurs, and everyone participates

The Bottom Line: Life is unpredictable. You can plan meticulously, but unexpected events will happen. What matters is how you respond—with resilience, openness, and the courage to keep moving forward even when things don't go as planned.

📚 Read Ranjani's Books

Get deeper insights into returning to India and rebuilding life after major transitions.

Visit Ranjini's Website Join Desi Return Community

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Can I return to India as a single parent after divorce?

A: Yes, you can return to India as a single parent after divorce. Ranjani returned to Hyderabad in 2003 and when her marriage ended two years later, she chose to stay despite having a Green Card that would have allowed her to return to the US. She built an independent life by securing a pharma job, later transitioning to independent consulting for flexibility, buying her own apartment and car, and successfully raising her daughter. However, be prepared for challenges including limited organized daycare options, potential discrimination when renting apartments, social stigma around divorce, and gender bias in business transactions. Building financial independence and a support network is crucial for success.

Q: What are the biggest challenges of being a single mother in India?

A: The biggest challenges of being a single mother in India include: (1) No organized daycare system—most people rely on family support or domestic help, which isn't always reliable or affordable; (2) Renting apartment challenges—landlords typically expect traditional families and single mothers face discrimination; (3) Deep-rooted gender bias—men are expected to lead conversations in business transactions, as Ranjani experienced when buying a car and the dealer asked "Who will drive it?"; (4) Significant social stigma associated with divorce, particularly for women, leading to judgment and exclusion from social circles; (5) Lack of single-parent support networks—no organized support groups or community resources specifically for single parents.

Q: How do I test drive returning to India before making a permanent move?

A: To test drive your return to India, Ranjani recommends: "Come and try it out. Stay not as a tourist but as a resident. Now you can rent Airbnbs in different places to get a feel before you decide." Rent for extended periods (3-6 months) and live as a resident—set up routines, cook meals, do grocery shopping, experience daily life. Try multiple cities before deciding to find the best fit for your family. If your kids are in school abroad, use summer vacations to test living in India for 2-3 months. Test proximity to family by experimenting with living nearby versus in the same house. Experience real day-to-day life including commuting during rush hour, navigating traffic, using public services, and shopping at local markets.

Q: Will my child adapt to the Indian education system after studying in the US?

A: Yes, children can adapt to the Indian education system after studying in the US, especially if they're young. Ranjani's daughter started 1st grade in India after attending kindergarten in the US and completed grades 1-12 in a CBSE board school in Hyderabad. Ranjani advises: "Don't worry so much about curriculum. Support your kid through their journey. The younger they are, the easier it is to settle into Indian schooling." Her key observation is that kids who grew up in India (completing grades 1-12) and then went to the US for college become well-adjusted young adults with a strong sense of identity. They see themselves primarily as Indians regardless of where they live now. Many schools in metro cities have significant populations of returnee children, which helps with the transition.

Q: Can I work from home as a single parent in India?

A: Yes, you can work from home as a single parent in India. Ranjani initially got a job with a good pharma company in Hyderabad, but later transitioned to independent consulting in the pharmaceutical industry. Consulting allowed her the flexibility to be home when her daughter returned from school—critical for single parents without family support. The pharmaceutical industry in Hyderabad was robust and growing, which made it possible to transition from corporate employment to independent consulting without sacrificing income or professional credibility. She built a portfolio of pharma clients while maintaining schedule flexibility. This work-from-home arrangement proved essential for managing single parenting responsibilities, allowing her to balance professional fulfillment with being present for her daughter.

Q: Should I return to India or stay in the US after divorce?

A: This is a deeply personal decision that depends on your individual circumstances. When Ranjani faced this choice, she had a valid Green Card and could have returned to the US. Many people advised her to go back—it seemed like the logical choice. But she chose to stay in Hyderabad and build a new life from scratch because "it didn't feel right" to leave. Her advice: "Most people regret what they did NOT do. If you have it in your mind to try something, go with it. At least that question is answered." She emphasizes that if a decision is reversible, don't overthink it—trust your gut and try it. Consider factors like family support, career opportunities, financial stability, and where you feel you can build the best life for yourself and your children.

Q: What happens to my Green Card if I return to India permanently?

A: If you return to India permanently, you risk losing your US Green Card. According to USCIS guidelines, a Green Card can be considered abandoned if you stay outside the US for extended periods (typically more than 6-12 months) or if you establish permanent residence elsewhere. Ranjani had a Green Card when she returned to India in 2003, which gave her the option to go back to the US after her divorce. However, if you plan to return to India permanently, you should understand that maintaining Green Card status requires demonstrating intent to maintain US residence. You may need to apply for a re-entry permit before leaving or accept that you'll lose permanent resident status.

Q: How do I handle the stigma of divorce in India?

A: Handling the stigma of divorce in India requires resilience and building your own support system. Ranjani faced significant stigma when she separated two years after returning to India. She dealt with it by: (1) Building financial independence through her pharma career and consulting work; (2) Buying her own apartment and car to establish her independence; (3) Focusing on her daughter's well-being and education; (4) Writing about her experiences in her book "Rewriting My Happily Ever After: A Memoir of Divorce and Discovery," which helped many others dealing with divorce stigma; (5) Creating a podcast where other women share their stories of divorce and reinvention. She emphasizes making active decisions rather than letting life lead by itself, and focusing on building a fulfilling life regardless of social judgment.

✍️ Final Thoughts

Ranjani's story is a testament to resilience and the ability to reinvent yourself at any stage of life. Her journey shows that even when things don't go as planned, you can build a fulfilling life. Whether it's navigating single parenthood in India, building a career, or moving to yet another country, life's transitions can be opportunities for growth.

"It doesn't matter where you live. These are decisions we all take. There's no one perfect path to any goal — even if the goal is specific, there are many paths to it."