Special Needs Kids in India vs Abroad: A Mother's Journey with Autism Therapy and Resources
Sumathi, a mother of an autistic daughter in Bangalore, shares her 8-year journey navigating autism diagnosis, therapy options, and special education in India. She provides honest insights comparing India vs abroad for special needs children, therapy costs, and practical advice for parents.
Special Needs Kids in India vs Abroad: A Mother's Journey with Autism Therapy and Resources
Sumathi, a mother raising an autistic daughter in Bangalore, shares her 8-year journey through diagnosis, therapy options, and special education in India. She provides honest insights comparing resources in India vs abroad, therapy costs, and practical advice for parents navigating this challenging path.
Key Takeaways from Sumathi's Journey
- Daughter Nika was diagnosed with autism (ASD) at age 2.5 years; now 10 years old and showing continuous progress
- Early intervention is crucial—don't wait for elders' reassurances; trust your instincts
- India advantage: No waiting time for therapy; can take as many sessions as you can afford
- India disadvantage: No insurance coverage; all costs are out-of-pocket
- Abroad advantage: Government covers costs; better transparency in therapy
- Abroad disadvantage: Long waiting times (3-6 months to 1 year); limited session flexibility
- Bangalore and Hyderabad have the most therapy options in India
- 90% of special children cannot fit into inclusive schools due to attention/sensory issues
- Acceptance is the first step—only then can you see clearly and take appropriate action
A Mother's Mission: "When I was struggling in those days, I couldn't find information about autism in Telugu or anywhere else. So I thought, why not start a channel to bring awareness to people who are struggling for information about autism or who are new to this word." — Sumathi, who started a YouTube channel to help other parents navigate the autism journey.
👨👩👧👦 Sumathi's Background and Family
Sumathi lives in Bangalore with her husband, who works in IT, and their two children. Her elder daughter Nika is 10 years old and is on the autism spectrum (ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder). Her younger son Sharon is 4 years old. According to the CDC's autism data, early intervention significantly improves outcomes for children on the spectrum.
Nika was diagnosed with autism when she was about 2.5 years old—approximately 7-8 years ago. At that time, Sumathi and her husband knew nothing about autism. They had never even heard the word before.
This struggle to find information, especially in Telugu (their native language), inspired Sumathi to start her own YouTube channel. Her goal was to bring awareness to parents who are new to autism and provide the genuine information and moral support she wished she had received.
Sumathi's YouTube Channel Impact
After starting her channel, Sumathi discovered that most parents are reluctant to come forward on social media or share their stories publicly. Despite this, she has been able to provide information and moral support to many mothers who contact her through Instagram, sharing their children's stories and struggles.
Her reflection: "I really feel like I have done a very good thing starting this channel and trying to create awareness about this thing."
Note: Sumathi mentioned she's more comfortable speaking in Telugu, so some parts of the original conversation were in Telugu. This article captures the key insights from her discussion.
🔍 Early Signs: What Parents Should Watch For
Sumathi began noticing differences in Nika's behavior when she was around 1.5 to 2 years old. The comparison with her niece (her brother's daughter, who was 8 months older than Nika) made the differences more apparent.
Early Warning Signs Sumathi Observed
- Lack of imitation: Not interested in clapping hands or imitating small gestures
- Physical distance: Didn't like being cuddled; would sleep away from parents on the bed during nights
- Sleep issues: From birth, very little sleep during nights with constant crying—many nights they stayed awake the whole night
- Social disinterest: During her second birthday celebration, showed no interest in the party, playing with other kids, or mingling with family members
- Emotional detachment: Didn't care who came or went; was cranky all the time
- No name response: Would not respond to her name even when called 100 times
The Playschool Revelation
After Nika's second birthday (in April), they enrolled her in a renowned playschool in June. The school had a camera option where parents could watch their children live in the classroom.
The teachers would tell Sumathi that Nika wasn't interested and they would try to pull her into circle time "whenever she's ready."
The Name Response Test
The most telling sign was Nika's complete lack of response to her name:
A Critical Observation
"When all the other children are very excited to meet their parents, Nika is not at all showing any interest—if Papa has come, Mama has come to pick me up, nothing like that. Even if I am standing behind her and calling her name 100 times, she was not at all responding."
This was the moment they realized something serious was happening and decided to consult their pediatrician.
🏥 The Diagnosis Journey
When they consulted their pediatrician about Nika not responding to her name, the doctor asked a few simple questions:
- Does she respond if you call her?
- If she's in another room, will she come if you call her?
When the answers were "no," the pediatrician immediately mentioned it might be autism and referred them to a Child Care Development Center for assessment.
The Assessment Process
- Duration: Assessment took 2-3 days
- Report timeline: Received within about one week
- Diagnosis: Confirmed she was on the Autism Spectrum (ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder)
- Next step: Immediately advised to join a therapy center
- Age at diagnosis: Approximately 2.5 years old
The Emotional Impact
The diagnosis hit them hard. They had never heard the word "autism" before.
Understanding Autism Types
Sumathi explained that in autism, there are two kinds of children:
Verbal vs Non-Verbal Autism
| Type | Description |
|---|---|
| Non-Verbal | Children who are completely non-verbal and don't speak |
| Verbal | Children who have words and can talk |
Nika is verbal. She had picked up vocabulary from YouTube—shapes, colors, alphabet (A to Z, small and capital letters), and could identify and sort shapes, numbers, vehicles, transport, fruits. She had the basic knowledge a 2-year-old should have, but she didn't use those words appropriately when asked.
🛤️ The Therapy Journey: Trial and Error
Sumathi's therapy journey with Nika was not straightforward. It involved multiple attempts, failures, and eventually finding what worked for their daughter.
First Attempt: Group Therapy (Failed)
They started with group therapy at the center recommended by the doctor. In this setup, 7-8 mothers with their children would be in a classroom, following a curriculum where they had to complete activities with their child during 45-minute sessions.
Why Group Therapy Didn't Work
- The environment was completely new to Sumathi—she had never seen a group of special kids before
- It was very hard for her to make Nika work on activities
- Nika was cranky all the time and never wanted to go to the therapy center
- She would pull Sumathi's hand and bag, saying "Let's go, I don't want to stay here"
- She cried through all the sessions
- The therapists would scold and shout at parents: "Why are you not able to do that with your child?"
Sumathi's frustration: "If I can do something with my child, what is the use of bringing my child to your therapy center? I can sit at home and make my child learn."
After one month of trying, neither Sumathi nor Nika could fit into that environment. They left that therapy center.
Second Attempt: Online Courses (Failed)
They tried online courses and enrolled in two or three online sessions. These also didn't work for Nika.
The Spending Trap
During this period, they fell into a common trap:
The Turning Point: Acceptance
After about one to one and a half years of struggling through depression and confusion, they finally accepted Nika's condition. This acceptance was the turning point.
The Power of Acceptance
"Once we accepted that Nika's condition is like that and we have to accept and we have to do whatever necessary things we can do for her—then we started to search for nice therapy centers which Nika can adjust to."
Finding What Worked: One-to-One Therapy
They found a special school called Bubbles School (a special school for special children) that allowed outside children for 1-2 hour therapy sessions. There, they found a special educator who made all the difference.
The Right Therapist
What made her special:
- She was a special educator AND a special mom (had a 9-year-old autistic child herself)
- She had done special education training
- She worked on her own child as well as teaching at the school
- She was assigned to Nika for one-on-one sessions
The result: "We feel like we were very lucky to meet that special educator because she worked a lot on Nika and we can see visible changes in Nika after she started working."
The Therapy Schedule That Worked
They established a routine:
- Morning: Half day at normal/regular playschool
- Afternoon: 1 hour special education + 1 hour occupational therapy at the special school
Nika had severe sensory issues—her fine motor and gross motor skills were not up to the mark. She struggled to even pick up small things from the ground. The occupational therapy addressed these issues.
This schedule continued for about one and a half years, and they saw significant improvement. Nika started need-based communication, which was very useful for communicating with her.
🏫 Types of Therapy Available in India
Based on Sumathi's experience, here are the therapy options available for autistic children in India. The National Institute of Mental Health provides comprehensive information about autism spectrum disorders and treatment approaches.
Therapy Options in India
| Therapy Type | Purpose | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Special Education | Academic curriculum, cognitive skills, communication | Can be group or one-to-one |
| Occupational Therapy (OT) | Sensory issues, fine motor, gross motor skills | Essential for children with sensory processing issues |
| Speech Therapy | Verbal communication, language development | For children with speech delays |
| Group Therapy | Social skills, following group instructions | May not work for all children |
| One-to-One Therapy | Individualized attention and curriculum | Often more effective for children who struggle in groups |
| Ayurveda | Alternative/complementary treatment | Available to try in India |
| Homeopathy | Alternative/complementary treatment | Available to try in India |
How Therapy Centers Work
Sumathi explained the assessment process at therapy centers:
The Trial and Error Reality
Sumathi emphasized that finding the right therapy is a process of trial and error:
Every Child is Different
"For every child is different. Every child's abilities or difficulties are different when coming to autism. So we have to give it a try—everything we have to give it a try. If it suits for them, we have to continue. Otherwise, we have to go for another option."
Settlement time varies: Some children settle in 10 days (like Nika with one-to-one therapy), while others may take 3 months of crying before adjusting. It completely depends on the individual child.
🌍 India vs Abroad: Honest Comparison
Sumathi regularly talks to parents from outside India (US, UK, and other countries) through her Instagram. Based on these conversations and her own experience, she provided an honest comparison of special needs resources in India versus abroad.
Comprehensive Comparison: India vs Abroad
| Factor | India | Abroad (US/UK) |
|---|---|---|
| Waiting Time for Assessment | Almost immediate | 3-6 months, sometimes up to 1 year |
| Waiting Time for Therapy | Can start immediately after assessment | Must wait for turn after assessment |
| Session Flexibility | Can take as many sessions as you want/can afford | Government allots limited sessions (e.g., 2/week when child needs 5) |
| Cost | 100% out-of-pocket; no insurance coverage | Government covers expenses |
| Alternative Treatments | Can try Ayurveda, Homeopathy, functional medicine | Limited alternative options |
| Transparency | Some centers lack transparency; parents may not see what happens in sessions | Better communication; teachers, therapists, parents all looped in |
| Therapist Quality | Varies; some centers are commercialized | Generally more genuine and structured |
| Inclusive Education | Available but limited; most special children can't fit due to attention/sensory issues | Better structured inclusive environments |
The Waiting Time Problem Abroad
Sumathi highlighted the significant waiting time issue faced by parents abroad:
Even after assessment, if parents want private sessions, the cost is very high. Most wait for their turn for government-funded therapy, which may not provide enough sessions for the child's needs.
The India Advantage: Flexibility
Why Some NRI Parents Choose India
"Here we don't have any waiting time. We can take however many classes we want. For example, my child is having severe sensory issues—I want to take two hours of OT every day and I can afford it—I will take it. I can go for it."
"If I want to try Ayurveda here, I can try it. I want to try Homeopathy here, I can try it. If I want to go for any other particular treatment, I can try it."
The India Disadvantage: Cost
Financial Reality in India
"In India, everything—whatever penny we spend—we have to take it from our pocket. We don't have any insurance policies here. We don't have any reimbursement policies here. Everything we have to afford by ourselves."
The Transparency Issue
Sumathi noted that transparency is better abroad:
In India, some therapy centers don't allow parents to watch what happens during sessions, which can be frustrating for parents who want to know exactly what their child is doing and learning.
🎒 School Options for Special Needs Children
Sumathi provided insights into the school options available for special needs children in India:
Types of Schools Available
- Inclusive Schools: Regular schools that accept special needs children alongside neurotypical children
- Special Schools: Dedicated schools for special children, often offering therapy sessions to outside children as well
- Alternative Schools: Schools with different approaches (e.g., "no-backpack schools," Waldorf, etc.)
The Reality of Inclusive Schools
While inclusive schools sound ideal, Sumathi offered a reality check:
Who Can Fit in Inclusive Schools?
"There are so many inclusive schools, but 90% of the special children who have attention issues or sensory issues—they cannot sit more than five minutes in a chair. So they all cannot fit into an inclusive school."
Who can fit: Only children with very mild autism or very mild learning disabilities typically fit in inclusive classroom settings.
Sumathi's situation: "I cannot make my child sit in an inclusive classroom because she cannot sit."
The key is understanding your child's specific needs and abilities, then finding a school environment that matches—rather than forcing them into a setting that doesn't work.
🤝 Handling Social Stigma
Social stigma around special needs children is a concern for many families, especially those considering returning to India. Sumathi shared her personal experience and perspective on this sensitive topic.
Their Initial Approach: Hiding
For the first 2-3 years after Nika's diagnosis (until she was about 4-5 years old), Sumathi and her husband didn't tell their family about her condition.
During this time, family members would observe Nika's behavior and ask questions:
- "Why is she not responding?"
- "Why is she not talking?"
- "Why are you not paying attention to her?"
Without knowing the real reason, family members would blame the parents for Nika's behavior, assuming they weren't focusing on her properly.
The Shift: Opening Up
Once they achieved acceptance (around age 4-5), they started telling relatives and family about Nika's condition. The change in perception was dramatic:
What Changed After Opening Up
Before: Family judged them as bad parents who weren't focusing on their child.
After: "People started to show concern—'Oh, is this the thing? Okay, you can do like this, you can try like this, you keep talking to her, you take her to places, you put her in a school.' Like that, some positive inputs started coming to us."
Sumathi's Perspective on Stigma
Sumathi offered a thought-provoking perspective on discrimination:
She believes parents are "somewhat responsible for creating discrimination" by not opening up:
Her Advice on Stigma
"If we are hiding our child, please don't hide your child. We should open up and we should tell them what is happening. Then only people will get to know, people will get to understand."
"When we get open up, when we tell that our particular child is having this condition, then only at least half of the people who are judging us might change their perception. Then they will get to know—'Oho, okay, maybe because of this the child is behaving like this, because of this the child is talking like this.' They might get an idea."
Family Support
Sumathi acknowledged that her family has been supportive. They have cases of special needs in both sides of the family:
- Her husband's side: A child with Down syndrome
- Her father's side: A relative who is deaf and mute by birth
While family members didn't initially know what autism specifically was (they might have thought it was something else), once they understood, they accepted Nika "with their whole heart."
📈 Nika's Progress: 8 Years Later
Nika is now 10 years old. When asked about her progress, Sumathi shared both the achievements and the realistic expectations:
Current Status
- Continuous improvement: "She's improving day by day, year by year—that I can confirm. We can definitely see."
- Not saturated: Unlike some children who plateau at a certain point and stop responding to therapies, Nika continues to show progress
- Academics: She does academics at her current center, which focuses on her academic development
- Realistic comparison: "When compared to a neurotypical child, she's not up to the mark—I would say like she's only 50%"
Ongoing Challenges
Sumathi is honest that challenges continue:
Growing Stronger
Experience and time have made them stronger:
Clarity Through Experience
"The experience and time also will make you stronger in this thing. Since we are used to all those things now, we are more strong than earlier."
"Now we definitely know how to handle the things—what we can do for her, what will help her. All those things we have in mind. We're very clear now—what we can do, what we cannot do, what she can do, what she cannot do. Depending on that, we'll be planning her things."
💡 Advice for Parents
Based on her 8 years of experience and conversations with many parents, Sumathi shared crucial advice:
1. Don't Delay—Early Intervention is Critical
The Danger of Waiting
"Usually what we do is we panic, we get worried, we run to places, we don't think clearly, we don't focus on what the child actually needs."
Common mistake: Listening to elders who say "It's okay, she will talk by two years, by four years, by five years. Why are you worrying? Don't compare your child with other children."
The cost: "If we might have observed right from one year—we have the doubt but we are not acting on it. If you are waiting for that particular time, if you're not accepting the thing, by the age of five the things might get worse. We are losing the valuable time."
The opportunity: "The three years of auspicious time which can do wonders in the future—if we might have focused on those three years with acceptance."
2. Trust Your Instincts
3. Acceptance is the First Step
Why Acceptance Matters
"First thing is we should accept the thing. Only when acceptance comes, then only we can see the things clearly."
Without acceptance: You take things for granted, make unnecessary mistakes, ignore valuable time
With acceptance: You can see the child's ability and capability, take appropriate steps for their growth
4. Assessment Timing Reality
Sumathi explained why formal diagnosis often comes later:
Why Centers Wait Until Age 2.5-6
Assessment centers typically don't formally diagnose before age 2.5 years (some wait until 6 years) because:
- The brain is still developing
- Some children with developmental delays might naturally catch up
- Early diagnosis could be wrong in some cases
However: This doesn't mean you should wait to start early intervention. You can begin working with your child even before formal diagnosis.
5. Mother as Therapist
For parents who cannot access therapy centers (due to location, cost, or other constraints):
You Can Be Your Child's Therapist
"Sometimes mother is the best therapist. If things are not working well, if situations are not favorable, then you can become the good therapist to your own child."
How: Sign up for online parental training programs, get trained, and work with your child yourself.
Initial challenge: "Initially it might feel difficult for one or two months because they don't listen to us. We don't know how to handle them, how to make them sit, how to give them an activity."
Result: "But once we get trained, slowly we can make our child do things. They will definitely listen to us."
6. Don't Feel Guilty
For NRI parents who cannot leave their jobs abroad:
🏙️ Best Cities in India for Special Needs Resources
For NRI families considering a return to India with a special needs child, location matters significantly. Sumathi shared her knowledge about which cities have the best resources. For families planning their return, understanding how other NRI families make their return decisions can provide valuable context.
City-wise Resource Availability
| City/Area | Resource Level | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Bangalore | Best | Most therapy centers, special schools, inclusive schools, functional medicine options |
| Hyderabad | Very Good | Good number of options available |
| Other Metro Cities | Moderate | Some options but fewer than Bangalore/Hyderabad |
| Tier-2/Tier-3 Cities | Limited | Few options; may need to travel to nearby cities |
| Rural Areas/Villages | Very Limited | Often no local resources; must travel to cities for therapy |
Important Consideration for NRI Families
If you have a special needs child and are considering returning to India, settling in a metropolitan city—preferably Bangalore or Hyderabad—will provide the most therapy options and resources.
Parents in small villages often have no local resources and must travel to nearby cities for therapy, which can be challenging and time-consuming.
❓ Frequently Asked Questions
What are the early signs of autism that parents should watch for?
Based on Sumathi's experience with her daughter Nika, early signs included: not interested in clapping hands or imitating small gestures, not liking to be cuddled, sleeping away from parents, very little sleep during nights with constant crying from birth, no interest in birthday celebrations or playing with other kids, not caring who came or went, being cranky all the time, and most importantly—not responding to her name even when called 100 times. These signs were noticeable around 1.5-2 years of age.
How does the autism diagnosis process work in India?
The process typically starts with a pediatrician consultation, who asks basic questions about the child's responsiveness. If autism is suspected, they refer to a Child Care Development Center for formal assessment. The assessment takes 2-3 days, and results come within about a week. The report confirms whether the child is on the autism spectrum (ASD) and the severity level (mild, moderate, or severe). After diagnosis, families are advised to join a therapy center immediately.
What types of therapy are available for autistic children in India?
India offers several therapy options: Special Education (one-on-one or group sessions for academic and cognitive skills), Occupational Therapy (for sensory issues, fine motor and gross motor skills), Speech Therapy (for verbal communication challenges), and alternative treatments like Ayurveda and Homeopathy. Therapy can be group-based or one-to-one, with one-to-one often being more effective for children who struggle in group settings. Therapy centers assess each child individually and create customized strategies.
How do therapy options in India compare to the US/UK?
Key differences: In India, there's no waiting time—you can start therapy almost immediately after diagnosis. You can take as many sessions as you can afford. Alternative treatments (Ayurveda, Homeopathy) are available. However, all costs are out-of-pocket with no insurance coverage. Abroad, government covers costs but with long waiting times (3-6 months to 1 year) and limited session flexibility. Transparency and communication between therapists and parents is generally better abroad.
Can special needs children attend inclusive schools in India?
While many inclusive schools exist in India, Sumathi notes that 90% of special children with attention or sensory issues cannot sit more than 5 minutes in a chair, making inclusive settings unsuitable for them. Only children with very mild autism or learning disabilities typically fit in inclusive classrooms. The key is finding a school environment that matches your child's specific needs and abilities rather than forcing them into a setting that doesn't work.
Should NRI families with special needs children consider moving to India?
It depends on individual circumstances. India offers: no waiting time, session flexibility, and alternative treatment options. However, all costs are out-of-pocket. Some NRI parents come to India for 6 months to 1 year for intensive therapy, then return abroad. If you have family support in India, it helps significantly. If you cannot leave your job abroad, don't feel guilty—online parental training programs allow you to become your child's therapist. Bangalore and Hyderabad offer the most resources if you do decide to move. For comprehensive planning, explore our guide on financial planning for NRI return to India.
Need Guidance for Your Family's Situation?
Every family's journey with special needs children is unique. Whether you're considering returning to India or need help navigating resources abroad, getting the right guidance can make all the difference.
Connect with families who understand your journey and get personalized guidance for your situation. For direct questions about autism resources, you can also reach out to Sumathi through her Instagram (details in the video description).
Frequently Asked Questions
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