Cape Town: Beautiful But Unsafe

"It's a very beautiful city. Cape Town is very beautiful but then I got pregnant and then I decided like because of the safety concerns I decided to come back to India because it is very beautiful but there are safety concerns there. The crime rate is very high."

• Worked in Cape Town for a period
• Returned to India due to pregnancy and safety concerns
• Delivered her son in India
• Stayed in India for 2 years during COVID

The London Move (2022)

In 2022, both Garima and her husband received opportunities to move to London:

• Garima: Worked for a big UK-based investment bank
• Husband: Worked for an IT company in wealth management
• Both were in senior positions
• Both were doing "financially good" with strong career profiles

"We never imagined we will settle there but we never imagined we will come back as well. It was just an open plan."

Timeline

• January 2023: Healthcare incident; decision made to return
• 2023: One full year of job searching and planning
• 2024: Successfully returned to India (approximately one month before interview)

The Strategy: One Job First

"We don't want to go like this like we either one of us should have a job in hand because both of us were very you know doing very good financially so we just didn't want to come like this leaving everything apart."

The Challenge:

• Both working at very senior positions
• Wanted similar positions in India
• Not expecting same packages (understood purchase parity difference)
• But wanted comparable roles and responsibilities

The Job Search Reality

The Question Everyone Asked:

"Why you want to come back because everybody wants to go from India and you want to come back. So it is not a regular scenario."

The HR Skepticism:

"Couple of places like I got selected and like HR told me why should we select you if you don't come like what will happen because it's a waste of time for both of us. They give interviews they check the salary and they don't join back."

Location Choice: Why Pune?

Primary Factors:

Alternative Locations Considered: Dubai

"I think it was kind of a wave. Everybody was talking like Dubai Dubai Dubai."

Why It Didn't Work:

• Both worked in financial sector/investment banks
• Not getting enough opportunities in Dubai
• The kind of roles they wanted weren't available
• The kind of salaries they expected weren't matching

The Savings Calculation

London Lifestyle Costs:

• House help (needed because both working)
• Childcare: £1,500-£2,000/month
• Multiple classes for son (social activities, learning)
• High EMIs and rent
• Overall: very high cost of living

India Lifestyle:

• Comparable salary (adjusted for purchase parity)
• Similar lifestyle maintained
• All the same expenses (help, classes, activities)

Key Insight: Even with lower absolute salary numbers, the purchasing power and cost of living in India means higher net savings for the same lifestyle quality. For detailed financial planning, check out the NRI FIRE strategies guide.

The Nuanced Reality

"Work life balance is not generic in India."

Garima's Experience:

• Early career in India: Mixed experience; service-based companies had poor work-life balance
• As she grew: Found it was about defining boundaries
• Key principle: "It's me who need to define like what I want to like how I want to work it should be me not the other person"

The Approach:

• Complete your work efficiently
• Get it done well
• Then you're not questionable to anybody
• Find good managers who motivate and mentor

The Leadership Responsibility

"Now when I'm coming back, I'm coming back at a senior position. So I'll be defining the work culture for my team."

The Mindset:

• It's the leader's responsibility to define work culture
• Senior people coming back should correct what's not working
• Bring best practices from abroad
• Create the environment you want to see

Her Inspiration: Had a manager from US who came back to India. She mentored Garima beautifully and gave her a good impression of how a manager should be. Now Garima wants to do the same for her team.

UK Work Culture (For Comparison)

The Reality:

• 9-to-5 schedule
• If you complete your work, nobody questions you
• Very good work-life balance
• Definitely better than India in this aspect

But:

"In India, I think it's improving slightly. And when the people are coming at senior levels, it's their responsibility to you know correct it whatever is not there."

The India Advantage

"I found like in India opportunity for women are more because they have lot of diversity hiring these days. Even I got hired as a diversity in within diversity hiring."

Career Growth:

• Many women friends excelling in their careers
• Diversity hiring initiatives
• Opportunities to grow up the ladder quickly
• Better support for women in leadership

The Abroad Challenge: Support System Gap

"In abroad definitely I mean the opportunities are there but then being an Indian women the support system was missing at home. So you have to take care of your kid as well. You have to do your household chores as well and then you have to excel your excel within your career."

The Mother's Guilt:

"Though both of us were contributing equally but I think there was a mother's guilt within me that I am at my office and my I'm not meeting my son. I'm coming back at 7:00 he's sleeping at 7:30. So there was kind of you know constant guilt within me that I'm not giving him enough time not you know cooking for him. It's not like nobody's telling me to cook but it was a mother's guilt."

The India Solution

Work-Life Balance Negotiation:

• Joined at senior position
• Discussed work-life balance needs upfront
• Manager (from UK) was supportive
• Flexibility to work from home when needed
• Can leave office for family needs and take calls from home

The Support System:

• Parents available for support
• Extended family nearby
• Household help affordable and available
• Can balance career and family better

Son's Adjustment (Age 5)

The Worry:

"My main worry was about his school because I chose a holistic school for him because he's coming from that environment. I just didn't want to give him more pressure. I wanted to him to relax to enjoy and I mean get accustomed to Indian ways and everything."

The Reality (After One Month):

• Almost settled in school
• Enjoying the environment
• Made lots of friends in the township
• Living in a gated community with all amenities

The Township Advantage:

• Just go downstairs to meet other kids
• Soft play areas
• All sports facilities
• Easy socialization

"For him, it was comparatively easy. I was worried a lot, but he took it very very nicely."

Husband's Experience

Work Setup:

• Came to very senior position
• 4 days of working per week
• Office just 5 minutes away from home
• In UK: complete remote working, never went to office
• Enjoying the change and socialization

Garima's Experience

Work Setup:

• Was going to office 4 days in UK
• Now going 2 days in India
• Describes it as "kind of a chill"
• Wanted the change after hectic London life

"Our parents are here as well for our support. So it's kind of good. I mean we are not missing anything. We are gradually you know getting accustomed."

The Experiment

After shifting to UK, they brought their parents for vacation just after one year.

The Thinking:

"Initially we thought like maybe we would settle here and we wanted our parents to come there you know frequently because we never wanted to just live there and never you know visit them or visit them occasionally. We wanted to have a frequent connection with them."

What Happened:

• Parents came for visit
• After 15-20 days: very difficult for them
• Parents said: "We are not enjoying"
• Family felt it wasn't fair to keep them if they weren't enjoying

The Pattern:

• While taking them out and visiting places: okay
• But after some time: "No this is not the life we are enjoying"
• Parents left after about a month

Next Year:

• Asked parents again if they wanted to come
• Response: "No it's better you come back we don't want to come"

"This was again one of the major factors because our parents were not interested to come there and as a as their child we as as their kids we also didn't want to force them."

What They Left Behind

They left the UK after approximately 2-3 years—potentially just one year away from qualifying for UK citizenship.

What They Gave Up:

• Path to UK citizenship
• Established careers at top investment banks
• High salaries (in absolute terms)
• European lifestyle and travel opportunities

Why They Still Left:

• Healthcare system failure
• Expensive childcare with no family support
• Limited career growth (3-5% raises vs. higher inflation)
• Social isolation and transactional friendships
• Parents unable to visit comfortably
• Son's limited social life (dark by 4 PM for 7 months)

The Financial Reality Check

"When we got the job in India we calculated did everything and we were like if we are saving the same amount like what is the purpose?"

The Question: If you're saving the same amount (or more) in India, with family support, better healthcare access, and a happier lifestyle—what's the point of staying abroad?

The Excel Method

"We made an excel we actually made an excel about everything pros cons we calculated everything it was not like hush decision that we thought like just go and next day we came back. No, we took one year."

What to Calculate:

• Current savings vs. projected India savings
• Career growth path in both locations
• Quality of life factors
• Family support availability
• Children's education and social life
• Healthcare access
• Long-term business/entrepreneurship plans

The Noise Problem

"If you are really interested to move back, I would say just you know close your ears because there's lot of noise that will come to your way."

The Reactions They Got:

• "No it's not a good decision. You are doing so great. Why you want to go back?"
• "You're degrading your life."
• "If you have taken a decision you should be stick to it. Why you want to [change]?"
• Some saw it as losing status

The Reality:

"Every person has different varieties in life. You have to think about yourself whatever you are thinking just write it down."

The Six-Month Rule

"If you want to come back and even if you're half-minded like you are not fully sure, I would suggest don't you know stop listening to people analyze what you have in your mind where your heart and mind is taking you. So more advice you will listen more confusion it'll bring. So it is better you know just be quiet for six seven months take your time take your good time analyze everything write it down and then you know gradually take your decision."

Why This Works:

• Removes external noise
• Allows for rational analysis
• Gives time to gather data (job market, salaries, costs)
• Lets emotions settle
• Enables clear-headed decision making

The Future Planning Factor

Long-Term Considerations:

• Both in IT; know the industry changes every 5 years
• Wanted to start something of their own eventually
• India offers better environment for entrepreneurship

"Which country will give you you know benefit over that? That was one of the consideration as well because India is our country. We don't have visa issues. We have a lot of support, we have a lot of connections, it is a favorable situation if you want to start anything new, any business something like that, you have lot of support at home as well."

No Right or Wrong

"I would say I mean it's a very individualistic decision. It's it's all about your priority. I would say like it's there is a no right or wrong decision in here. I mean it's all depend what you prioritize in life."

The UK Experience:

"I won't say UK was bad or good. It was an experience we wanted to have as a family of a developed country because you know if you don't go you always regret in your life that we get we got the opportunity and we didn't took it."

The Family-First Principle

"The main reasons for us like we both of us we were very much connected to our family. We are like in all all the decisions in in our life whatever we took till now we always kept our family together like informing them bringing them."

The Pattern:

• Always kept family informed
• Brought parents to UK for vacation
• Wanted frequent connection with parents
• When parents didn't enjoy UK, it became a major factor

The Livelihood Factor (For the Child)

The Dark Months:

"For my son I think I felt for 7 months in a year it was dark after four. So the social life that you know the cultural aspect the social life the liveless that was missing for him."

What They Tried:

• Enrolled him in lots of after-school clubs
• Many activities
• But after coming from school, if it's dark, even parents weren't interested in taking him to the garden
• He wasn't enjoying that aspect

Summary: Key Takeaways for UK to India Return

• Healthcare access can be more important than cost
• Childcare costs abroad can eliminate salary advantages
• Purchase parity often means higher savings in India
• One spouse getting a job first makes the transition easier
• Direct hiring manager outreach bypasses HR skepticism
• Senior returnees can positively influence work culture
• Diversity hiring creates opportunities for women in India
• Parents' comfort matters for long-term sustainability