Why Returning to India Was a Mistake: Lessons from 24 Years in Canada
Amarjit's candid story of attempting R2I after 13 years abroad, only to return to Canada within a year due to pollution, safety, and corruption
Key Highlights from Amarjit's Journey
- ✓ Spent 3 years in UK for MBA, then 10 years in Canada before attempting R2I
- ✓ Made significant money in Canadian real estate, invested in commercial property in India
- ✓ Moved to Delhi with wife and two young kids (ages 4 and 5) within 3 weeks of deciding
- ✓ Kept Canadian house rented, furniture stored, vehicles at brother's place as backup
- ✓ Enjoyed stress-free life initially - traveling, eating out, collecting rent
- ✓ Wife's asthma attacks became severe during Delhi's post-Diwali pollution season
- ✓ Experienced violent road rage incident with serious injury
- ✓ Returned to Canada within 1 year - wife hasn't had asthma attack in 14 years since
- ✓ Now considering Dubai or Singapore for semi-retirement instead of India
- ✓ Key advice: Do a 3-4 month trial run, don't visit like a tourist
Not every return to India story has a happy ending. Amarjit's journey is a crucial reminder that R2I isn't right for everyone. After 3 years in the UK and 10 years in Canada, he moved his family to Delhi with dreams of a stress-free life close to family. Within a year, a near-fatal road rage incident and his wife's severe asthma attacks from Delhi's pollution forced them back to Canada. His story offers invaluable lessons for NRIs considering the move.
From Delhi to UK to Canada: The Journey Abroad
Amarjit's story begins in New Delhi, where going abroad was never in his plans. Coming from a middle-class family with limited opportunities, he started his own transport business. But his father had other ideas.
"Going abroad was never in my mind. But coming from middle class family, there were not many opportunities. My dad didn't like my transport business, so he was like, we got to send you abroad. Things moved at such a rapid pace - within two months I got my visa and flew to England for an MBA."
The culture shock was immediate and intense. Like most Indians moving abroad, he went from having everything done for him to buying his own groceries and cooking his own food without a clue how to do it.
After completing his MBA in the UK, opportunities were scarce. The goal shifted to earning money and getting settled - something he didn't see happening in India at the time. With zero pathway to stay in the UK, he filed for Canadian PR and successfully moved to Canada within a few years.
Building Success in Canada
In Canada, Amarjit got into real estate and found significant success. His initial goal was simple: make one crore rupees and return to India.
"The goal is always to make one crore. It's almost like, okay, that's the figure that I have to achieve, and once I achieve that figure, I'm going to go back to India."
He ended up making way more than that target. When he called his father with the news, the advice was to invest in a commercial building in India. The rental income started flowing, and suddenly the temptation to return became overwhelming.
The One Crore Goal and Decision to Return
Despite having a good management position in Canada, the stress was taking its toll. Waking up early, working long hours, and never being able to switch off the phone even after hours - it was exhausting.
"Even though I've got a very good position, I'm in a management position, but still you wake up early, you go there, you come back, and even after hours you cannot switch off your phone. Lot of stress."
The primary motivation was simple: enjoy life and be close to family. India offered the temptation of festivals, family functions, and a lifestyle where the only "work" would be collecting rent on the first of every month.
There was nothing negative pushing them away from Canada - it was all about the pull of what India could offer. They were excited about the possibilities.
The 3-Week Move: Planning (or Lack Thereof)
Amarjit and his wife are opposites when it comes to planning. She loves to plan and is very organized. He's self-admittedly disorganized and doesn't plan at all - "but things happen."
The decision came together in a single conversation:
"One day I sat down with her, I'm like, what are your thoughts about going back home? She wasn't very sure about it. An hour later I convinced her - close to family, rental income first of every month, all the festivals. She said yes. Within 15 days we had our house rented out."
The Smart Backup Plan
Despite the quick decision, they made one crucial choice that would later prove invaluable: they didn't sell anything.
- House: Rented out to tenants instead of selling
- Furniture: Stored in one room in the basement, locked up
- Vehicles: Parked at his brother's place in Canada
"Even though we didn't realize it at that time, back of the mind there still was always this thought - what if things didn't work out? So we always wanted to have that cushion. We could always sell the house, sell the vehicles, but it was like, let's go in there, test it out, and see how it goes."
Within 3 weeks of that initial conversation, they were flying to India on a one-way ticket with their two young children (ages 4 and 5).
The Good: Stress-Free Living and Family Time
The first several months in India were everything Amarjit had dreamed of. Life was, in his words, "freaking awesome" with zero stress.
"Life was awesome. Freaking zero stress. I didn't have to work. The only thing I had to do was collect rent."
The Daily Routine
Without the pressure of a demanding job, life took on a leisurely pace:
- Wake up at 10 AM
- Flip through TV channels, read the newspaper
- Chat with people at the office
- Eat out every day with the family
- Go on long drives
- Travel extensively - Nepal, Singapore, Thailand, Malaysia
"We were traveling so much it was unreal. You wake up and say, okay, we're going to Nepal today, Singapore tomorrow, Thailand or Malaysia next month."
The Financial Reality
Living with his father meant no housing expenses - the biggest cost in Delhi. The only "work" was collecting rent by the 15th of each month, and after that, the only job was spending it.
The food culture was a highlight they still miss - not five-star restaurants, but average local places with incredible food. The eating out, the traveling, the family time - these were the aspects that made India special.
The Bad: Road Rage, Pollution, and Corruption
Amarjit describes his India experience as "the good, the bad, and the ugly." While there was a lot of good, the bad and ugly parts ultimately made staying impossible.
Road Rage: A Near-Fatal Incident
Road rage in Delhi, and North India generally, is described as "horrible." Parking disputes regularly escalate to violence, with people "splitting each other's head open."
"I got into a very ugly scene where my driver got attacked by four people. I had to rescue him. I got full blows myself too. It was very ugly. One of the rods hit me right over here, and the doctor told us if it was like half an inch up, you'll be dead."
This incident, happening right before they decided to return, was a major factor in their decision. The question became: "Is it really worth it?"
Corruption: A System He Couldn't Navigate
After years overseas, Amarjit found himself "rusty" when it came to dealing with India's corruption. His gentle personality, which had served him well in Canada, became a liability.
"You're not even used to it and you don't even realize that person's asking for a bribe. And suddenly everything changes if you don't offer that."
Even collecting rent required a personality change. Being soft meant people would take advantage. He found himself becoming angry like "thousands of other people in Delhi" - a transformation that bothered him deeply.
Later, when considering opening a manufacturing plant in Hosur, South India, the corruption was so pervasive that they abandoned the idea entirely. "It was almost like, not even worth it."
⚠️ Important Consideration
If you have a gentle, non-confrontational personality that has been reinforced by years of living in Western countries, be prepared for a significant adjustment. The skills that make you successful abroad may not translate directly to navigating certain aspects of life in India.
The Health Crisis That Changed Everything
The first 9-10 months in India were manageable. But then came Diwali, and with it, Delhi's infamous pollution season.
Amarjit's wife has asthma. What had been a manageable condition became a medical emergency.
"Close to Diwali, right after Diwali, the pollution level got so unreal. She was in hospital every second day. Every evening she would get an attack. It was horrible."
The doctor's advice was blunt and life-changing:
"The doctor told me, 'Either look for a new place to live or look for a new wife.' I'm like, that's an easy choice, man."
The Stark Contrast
The difference after returning to Canada was dramatic. In the 14 years since moving back, his wife hasn't had a single asthma attack. Not one.
Health and safety became the two major concerns that made the decision to leave India clear. No amount of stress-free living or family proximity could outweigh the risk to his wife's health and their family's safety.
🏥 Health Consideration for NRIs
If you or family members have respiratory conditions like asthma, COPD, or allergies, seriously research the air quality in your target city. Delhi's AQI regularly exceeds 400-500 during winter months - levels considered "hazardous" by international standards. Consider cities in South India or coastal areas with better air quality.
Returning to Canada: A Smooth Transition Back
Thanks to their backup plan, returning to Canada was remarkably smooth. Amarjit's expertise in his field meant he was in high demand.
"It was very easy. The field that I was in, I was very much in demand. I knew the moment I would come back I would have my job. Once the doctor told me we had to have a change of environment, it was not even an option."
He reached out to his former employer before even returning. The response was immediate: "We would love to have you back." He returned to his same position.
The Backup Plan Pays Off
Everything they had kept in Canada was waiting for them:
- The lease was up for their tenants, so they had their house back
- Furniture was still in the basement - just needed movers to bring it upstairs
- Within 2-3 days, they were settled exactly as they used to be
This smooth transition underscores the wisdom of keeping a backup plan. Had they sold everything, the return would have been far more complicated and stressful.
Future Plans: Dubai and Singapore Over India
After returning to Canada, Amarjit quit his job and started a company with his brother. In 14 years, they've built it into one of the largest cabinet fabrication businesses in Canada.
Now at a stage where semi-retirement is on the horizon, India is calling again. But this time, they're not answering.
"We're at that stage looking at semi-retirement, and again India is calling. But we wouldn't want to move back to India. We're looking at options - Dubai, Singapore. We might make those countries a base."
Why Dubai or Singapore?
Several factors make these alternatives attractive:
- Weather: Canada's extreme cold (minus 40-45°C in winter) is tough to deal with
- Taxation: Canadian taxes are very high; UAE has zero income tax, Singapore has lower taxes
- Proximity: Dubai is only 3 hours from Delhi - "almost like having the best of both worlds"
- Indian Community: Large Indian diaspora makes it feel like "an extension of India"
- Infrastructure: Better infrastructure without India's pollution and safety concerns
The family dynamic also plays a role. Both sons are in university - the elder studying nuclear physics in Ontario, the younger planning to join the family business. If the younger son doesn't like wherever they move, they're prepared to pack up and follow him back.
"Our kids' circle is way more than ours, and right now it's all about them. If he comes back, man, we are packing our bags and following back again."
Advice for NRIs Considering R2I
Drawing from his experience of an unsuccessful return, Amarjit offers practical advice for NRIs considering the move:
1. Do a Proper Trial Run
"Before you make that decision, live there for three months. Don't be like a tourist - when we go in December and come back in January, don't do that. Live there for three or four months. Immerse yourself."
The amount of time spent in the Western world means the adjustment won't be easy. You need to experience daily life, not vacation life.
2. Consider Your Region Carefully
Every part of India has its own challenges. What works in South India may not work in North India. Delhi has specific issues with pollution and road rage that may be less severe elsewhere.
3. Keep Your Backup Plan
Don't sell everything. Rent your house, store your belongings, keep your options open. The cushion of knowing you can return makes the trial less stressful and the decision clearer.
4. Consider Alternative Destinations
"Look at these other options. Dubai is only three hours away. It's almost having the best of both worlds. Delhi to Dubai is three hours - it seems like just an extension of India with the Indian diaspora there."
5. Be Honest About Your Personality
If you've developed a gentle, non-confrontational personality from years abroad, recognize that certain aspects of life in India may require you to change. Ask yourself if you're willing and able to make that adjustment.
🎯 Key Takeaway
"Don't just jump into it. Get your feet wet first and see how it goes from there." Living somewhere is fundamentally different from visiting. The day-to-day realities - dealing with bureaucracy, navigating traffic, managing health in different conditions - only become apparent when you're actually living there.
Impact on Children
With children aged 4 and 5 at the time of the move, they were young enough that the transition didn't significantly impact them. They traveled everywhere with the family and adapted easily.
However, one concerning discovery emerged after returning to Canada: the younger son, who had hated going to pre-nursery school in India and cried every morning, had been beaten by his teacher every day.
"What we found out when we came back a year later - the teacher used to beat him up every day. Sad, but that's the reality."
This highlights the importance of closely monitoring children's school experiences, especially in environments where corporal punishment may still occur despite being officially prohibited.
Planning Your Return to India?
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Frequently Asked Questions
What are the main reasons NRIs fail when returning to India?
Based on real experiences, the main reasons include health issues from pollution (especially for those with respiratory conditions like asthma), safety concerns including road rage incidents, difficulty adjusting to corruption in daily dealings, and underestimating how much living abroad changes your personality and expectations. Many NRIs also fail to do a proper trial run before committing fully.
How long should you trial living in India before moving permanently?
Experts recommend living in India for at least 3-4 months before making a permanent decision. Don't be like a tourist visiting in December and leaving in January. Immerse yourself in daily life, deal with bureaucracy, experience different seasons including the pollution-heavy post-Diwali period, and see how your family adjusts to the realities of daily living.
Is Delhi safe for NRIs returning to India?
Safety varies significantly by area and situation. Road rage is a serious concern in Delhi and North India, with incidents escalating to physical violence over parking disputes. One NRI shared being attacked by four people in a road rage incident, with injuries that could have been fatal. Consider these realities when choosing your city.
How does Delhi pollution affect NRIs with health conditions?
Delhi pollution can be devastating for those with respiratory conditions. One NRI's wife with asthma was hospitalized every second day during the post-Diwali pollution season after being fine for the first 9-10 months. The doctor advised either finding a new place to live or facing serious health consequences. After returning to Canada, she hasn't had a single asthma attack in 14 years.
Should NRIs keep their foreign assets when moving to India?
Keeping a backup plan is wise. One NRI rented out his Canadian house instead of selling, stored furniture in the basement, and parked vehicles at his brother's place. When the India move didn't work out, he had his house back when the lease ended, furniture ready to move upstairs, and was resettled within 2-3 days. This cushion proved invaluable.
Why do some NRIs consider Dubai or Singapore instead of India for retirement?
NRIs who've tried India and faced challenges often consider Dubai or Singapore as alternatives. Key reasons include: Dubai is only 3 hours from Delhi with zero income tax, Singapore has lower taxes than Canada, both have large Indian diaspora communities making it feel like an extension of India, and they offer better infrastructure while avoiding India's pollution and safety concerns.
How does corruption affect NRIs returning to India?
After years abroad, NRIs often become 'rusty' dealing with India's corruption. You may not even recognize when someone is asking for a bribe, and refusing can make everything difficult. One NRI who tried opening a manufacturing plant in South India found the corruption so pervasive it wasn't worth pursuing. This adjustment is particularly hard for those with gentle personalities who avoid confrontation.
What is the best approach for NRIs planning to return to India?
The recommended approach is: 1) Don't sell everything abroad - rent out your house and store belongings, 2) Do a 3-4 month trial run living like a local, not a tourist, 3) Consider your family's health conditions and how they'll handle pollution, 4) Have a backup plan and financial cushion, 5) Consider alternative locations like Dubai or Singapore if India doesn't work out.
Make an Informed Decision About Your Return
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